Long distance relationships: Do they work out? Is it harder to trust the other person with them far away? What things does each person need to contribute in order to make things work? Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? What was the hardest thing about it? Is it harder when the distance is really far away (states away instead of cities away)?
Long distance with military people: Is it worth the wait? How do you know the person is faithful?
Thanks for your help! -Christina Dow (9:00)
21 comments:
i have never had a long distance relationship so i don't have any personal experience with them, but i feel that if the couple is willing to make them work, then if it was meant to be, it will work. if the bond between two people is strong, and they feel they can trust the other one, then no matter the distance i feel they can trust eachother. both people in the relationship need to realize that the other one wants to be together and make it work, so therefore they need to put forth the same effort. they both need to communicate with eachother and make as much time for eachother that they can for just talking on the phone or on the internet. also if it is an option they need to try to see eachother every so often just so they can make sure the spark is still there. since i haven't had a long distance relationship i don't really know what the hardest thing would be, but my guess would be not seeing eachother and being there for the other one. i think it would be harder the further away they are because the option of seeing eachother more often isn't there. if they are just cities away there can be weekend visits and that wouldn't be too terrible expensive, but when they are states away it may be more difficult and more expensive. if the couple wants to make the long distance relationship work then go for it.
kaleen bittner
Long distance relationships are the hardest relationships to maintain. I think the reason for the distance has to be a good one(like away at school, military, work). If the relationship was made and then the distance toke place it is up to the couple to work on maintaining it. If the relationship started with the distance already there and nothing is done to remove the distance it is really not a true relationship. How can you be with a person you have never really been with? Trust is key to keeping it together. Do you know this person? Was the trust there from the beginning? Is there reasons not to trust them? If the trust and love is there then it is worth the wait for any one no matter how long the distance. If you spend more of your time thinking the other person is not faithful, then it is not worth the wait.
Long distance relationships can only work if both partners are highly trustworthy. It is difficult to trust someone far away because you cant see them and what they are doing and most likely you wont have no one to watch them while your not around. Truely for it work I think that neither partner should drink or encounter any drugs, so no accidently cheating happens. Also it only could work if sex was not important to neither of the to partners because people can only hold out for so long before needing sex. I have been in a long distance relationship and the hardest thing was to talk on the phone about how one wishes the other was there with them. Distance is distance dont matter if its a few states or cities away, it all matters on how often you see them.
I believe if you really love the person that trusting shouldn't be a problem. Trust is a big issue in a relationship and if you don't have that, you have nothing.
I believe for the contribution from each person is the support from each person. Telling eachother, letting the other person on how you feel about eachother, what you want for the future, and that you love them always.
Yes, I am in a long distance relationship, but we see eachother every 2 weeks. I am going to school here and he is in Normal. It is hard, but trusting the person is the big key. I have had to learn that, and we are doing a lot better than we were a year ago. The hardest thing was when he always went out to lunch with all girls. It was hard and I did accuse him a lot, which didn't help our relationship. His friends are girls, and most of my friends are guys, and we had to learn to respect that.
I belive that if you are states away it would be harder. You would only see that person very few. I think that those relationships could be harder than just 45 minutes away. I wish those people the best of luck.
Katelyn Watterson 9:00
...HILLARY FEARS..In a long distance relationship it is harder to trust your significant other, with them being away rather than by your side. My friend in Florida was dating a guy in high school they dated for about a good 2 years. It came close for the two love birds to graduate and her boyfriend at the time kept avoiding the subject of him leaving to go away to college. The time finally came and he went off to college all the way in Washington. The two would call each other everyday and text one another; but soon things would change. The phone calls stopped coming and my friend found that her boyfriend was distancing himself from her more and more. This example just shows how a long relationship can be a strain on people, causing the two to drift from one another. When in a long distance relationship everyone needs to commit whole heartedly to each other. The couple should have faith, that they can make it through the distance. I myself have never been in a long distance relationship; but can understand what the couple is going through by watching my friend’s relationship croumble.
I am in a long distance relationship right now. It may only be 4 hours away but long distant relationships are hard! You can throw trusting that person out the window...there will always be times when you doubt or question what that person is really doing. Me and my boyfriend have been dating now for 1 year, the first 5 months he was in champaign for work, but then the job ended and now he is back by macomb Il. The first 5 months were perfect, we never fought once, and everything was amazing. After he wasnt staying here anymore, things do a complete 180. Fights are more common, trust is a huge deal, and communication is key. Trust has been a hard issue in our relationship. I trust him completly and he trusts me, but little things can set off a trust issue. Like the time he didnt answere the phone for a couple hours, (he always answers the phone) it really made me wonder what he was doing. Or when i hear a girl in the background while he is at the bars, oh that makes me so mad! We now see each other once maybe twice a month and it is hard, but i plan on moving there with him in 3 months. I am counting down the days!! Even though being away from each other has been hard, it has been the best time of my life. He means the world to me and being away has only made us so much stronger!
-Emily Stege
Long distance relationships are not very fun. Sometimes they are neccessary and require a lot of work to make it last. I think that the length and strengh of you relationship prior to the distance part is one of the most important components to making it work. If visiting every other week or atleast once in a while is possible then that can also help. Staying in touch over the phone and discussing your day or being open about problems is also important. No matter the surcumstance for the distance between the couple a relationship can be worth it. In the end its up to you.
Wesley Bierma 8:00
I have been in the military, and while I haven't had a long distance relationship myself, I have seen them, and I have seem them fail... a lot. I think in today's digital age the distance is closing. With picture phones, web cameras, and other technology it is much easier to stay in touch over the distance, but that still doesn't matter if you cannot see your loved one with your own eyes. The absence of contact cannot be just passed over, especially in younger couples. Essentially, if the sex isn't there, the relationship is going to be very, very hard.
Michael Endris (9:00)
I think that a long distance relationship can work out but you have to be willing to work for it. You have to be able to trust each other, which is one of the hardest parts of a long distance relationship. I have never had a long distance relationship, but my husband is away for long periods of time, and sometimes you do wonder what they are doing. I think that the only reason my husband and I are still together is that we trust one another not to cheat.
Personally I have never been in a long distance relationship. I feel that it is compleytly up to the couple and were your heart is. There is no doubt in my mind it would be hard, because I like to always have my girl there for me, but yes it could work. I think a big part of it would be communication and being able to talk on the phone and write letters to your partner. I do not think I could do it, if I couldnt see them or communicate with them often. Also both of you need to be willing to trust one another with everything. There can not be any jealous of anything the relationship and let one another live thier life, but still be loyal and no whats right and wrong. Another issue is the money. Depending on how far away the person is, it could start getting really expensive seeing them. The only way the two should stayed together if their hearts are in it completly. If the person is in Military , I feel that you have to trust him, but then again never no what he will be like when hes out. Maybe he will want to explore other girls, since he hasnt for a while. But if he truely loves you, it will work.
Brett VanAsdlen
This in only my opinion and I am sorry if it is harsh. In general long distance relationships can only work if you both are allowed to have something on the side. People have needs that they have to be taken care of, and if you’re far away it will not work. This is the only way a long distant relationship can work.
Does it work? And can you trust them?
Yes, if you both have something on the side. I don’t know what kind of trust your asking for. If faithfulness I would say no, but if you’re asking for trust in talking to someone then yes.
What would each person ended to contribute?
They would both need to give a lot of time over the phone. This will led to spent a lot of money on phone bills. Other than time and money you will need to contribute nothing.
Have I ever been in a long distance relationship?
Yes, I was having an affair with a married girl. We would send a lot of e-mails and texts. She worked as a sales rep. for hospitals selling some equipment. This job allowed her to travel a lot, and whenever she came to Chicago she was mine. I think she had two other boyfriends, too.
Is it hard when the distance is far away?
No, it was not for me. My relationship was not a very emotional one though. I think it would be very hard. I would not be very happy with the living situation. This might make things very hard, and it would end.
Long distance with military people: Is it worth the wait? How do you know the person is faithful?
If your boyfriend or husband was deployed, then I think it would work. If not, and your waiting for him to finish his active duty service it will not work. The enlistment is at leased 2 years, for me it was 4 year, and some are longer. Then, for a lot a service member’s reenlistment can sound good. If you don’t have a plan when you get out. Military member, only get 30 days of vacation a year, and assuming that he come to see you all 30 of thoughts days. This is not going to build a very good relationship. I would not recommend this kind of life for either of you. You’re both not going to be happy this will lead to one of you cheating on each other. For the reasons above I would end the relationship date other people, and when his service is up if he is the right person you will get back together.
From Steve Gratkins
I am in the military and I think that long distance depends on the couple. When I was in Iraq we had so many soldiers that were married or in a relationship with someone back home and they were cheating on them while we were over there, and of course vice versa. I personally am very against cheating. I had my boyfriend over there with me but we were on different shifts and we never cheated on each other. But there was a couple that were married and and were on different shifts too but still ended up messing around with other people. I asked a few of them that were cheating on their significant others at home as to why they were doing it. Their responses were that they wanted the security of feeling needed, to have someone thier, to hold on too, and because they couldnt wait a year for sex. I think that it is all about how the trust factor is in the relationship and if you think that person will honestly be true to you through thick and thin. I think that long distance relationships are very hard if you are states, cities, or countries apart, but if you truly love someone you will be able to wait for them during the times apart.
I was in my last relationship for five years; he was in the Army and at that time I was not. He was over in Germany for 3 of those five years, I was faithful, he wasn't. Back then I didnt see the signs that he was cheating, especially when he came home on leave. After the relationship ended horribly I swore I would never do a long distance again. But, with my current boyfriend I think that I would rethink that, I would definitely wait for him and I know he would wait for me. There are a lot of ways to make a relationship work from far away like the phone, internet, web cam. I think it also depends on you as a person, on your morals, and what you believe. Someone might think that kissing is cheating, or maybe just looking at someone in a certain way could be cheating too. If you can trust, you can go the distance.
Elizabet Moore (0900)
I think that if the relationship is strong enough then a long distance relationship should work. If you don't trust the person enough to be faithful to you then you shouldn't be in the relationship. I've never been in a long distance relationship, but I don't think that I could do it because I am to needy and I need to cuddle when I sleep.
I've never been in a long distance relationship, but I know some long distance relationships does work out. The main factor is both people has to be dedicated to it. If the two individuals have a strong bond already, then no, it shouldn't be that hard to trust the other person from far away. Both people need to be faithful, loving, honest, and most of all trustworthy.
I believe that it is hard for long distance relationships to work out. Although I have never been in a long distance relationship, I know alot of people who have and most of them havn't worked because of a lack of trust. I believe the only way for a long distance relationship to work is to have great communication between both people and also the will to stay faithful and trustworthy to each other. I believe states away would be MUCH harder to be a part of then just cities away. If they were only cities away it would not be that hard because they can see each other on the weekends or when having time off of work.
Justin Stout (1:00)
I've never been in a long distance relationship. I think it would require both of them to have a very deep commitment level or it would never work out. They would both have to be very trustwothy and not give in to temptations. I would think a long distance relationship could only be expected to last a few months, because things tend to happen when your apart. The hardest part would be not being able to touch and just overall be with each other. I don't think it really matters how far away they are.
I believe long distance relationship can work but it takes effort for both sides to happen. There are many trust issues to be considered about, which I understand because I've been in a long distance relationship. If two people really love each other and have NO doubts about it at all then they should go into to. They work if both of them puts their parts in and follow up with a plan which the couple comes up with. Then they have to understand if things don't go well as planned to remember to not give up because that's the easy route to take. It just depends on the person or the couple and how they feel about long distance relationships. I personally went through it and I couldn't handle it just because I'm the type of person that needs attention and needs comfort from the other half. It's realllllyy hard to do but if both parts decided that they want to be together forever then a long distance will strengthened the relationship I believe and once the long distance is over they have accomplished a big step of the relationship. It's all about trust,loyalty,and respect. If these don't happen then the wait is worthless and there's no point to be in a relationship.
Cesar (9:00)
I have never been in a long distance relationship, so I won't have any thing to say. I don't think it shouldn't be any harder to trust them. You might think about it more with out the reasurence of seeing them everyday. So I believe you may over think the situation and let your imagantion run away from you. If a situation comes up where one or the other have to leave for a while, I would look at it as a test. If you two were meant to be, then you'll be fine.
Danny W (8:00 a.m.)
Personally I have never been in a long distance relationship because in my beliefs I knew they would never work out. That's me though, I am just that type of person who couldn't deal with it. Of course it would be hard for them both to trust one another. So far apart you never know what is going on at anytime. If your in a relationship you should have trust, but still it would be very hard. I don't know how they would contribute when they are so far away. The only thing you could do is talk on the phone. You could visit eachother when ever you had the chance. If your in a relationship and something happens that is what was meant to be. People just have to wait it out. Relationships only work if both people are putting out effort. If you both love eachother then it will work.
Jennifer Woodward (12:00)
Long distance relationships suck. Thats the truth of it,I've been in one so I know what I'm talking about,his name was Jake,he lived in Chicago while I lived in Paxton,Il-It barely lasted four months,what a waste,It's very hard when you really care about somebody that you could possibly love if they are far away,you want to see that person,hold that person,hug,kiss,ect...but you can't and the farther away the more difficult.
I suppose it could work,but that takes time,ditermination,loyaly,trust,patience,and comunication.It'svery important to tell them how you feel,worries,concerns,ect. It also takes a great deal of love. girls have to choose carefully,make sure that the guy doesn't dog you out. We have to trust our feelings when we think he's being unfaithful,because that's probally what he's doing,thats what happened to me and Jake,he was quiet the player,and I had that feeling that I couldn't trust him,yet I choose to not see it until it was too late.My bad.
I personally think that it's very,very,very difficult to make a long distance relationship work,and excruitating,its possible, but very hard.
I think that commitment,trust,and communcation are essential without one,it will not work.
I think that long distance relationships can work in certain cases. I think that they are all just based on communication and trust and if you have those things anything can work out. I think it can be harder to trust a person when they live far away jsut because you may jump to conclusions if you see pictures or if you just get jealous easy. I think that any relationship can work no matter how far it is as long as there is communication and trust like i said earlier and if you can do that and not get jealous it will work out great
Tom miller 9:00
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