My wife and I are ten years apart in age. Does this difference matter? Would it be preferable somehow if she were ten years older than me? When dating or choosing a spouse, how much should age matter? Why? Have you ever dated someone significantly older or younger than you? If so, how did that go? Thanks for your time--
Daniel Dubson (9:00a.m.)
26 comments:
I have no problem with a ten year span because you can still have a lot in common. I do have a problem when you are talking 20 - 40 years difference. There is no way that you can communicate between the two of you. The younger one generally has no clue on what you are talking about or can relate to situations when they have not lived them. I am not trying to be disresptful, but maturity cannot possibly be fully developed in the younger of the two.
Yes, I have dated a man that was 15 years younger than myself. I found him to be refreshing but dull at the same time. Because of the lack of knowledge and experience.
In my opinion, men and women dating younger than themselves by 20 - 40 years are only doing it to try and make themselves feel young again. When will society understand that everyone gets old and there is nothing wrong with that?
Age is nothing but a number!! TRUST!! I know people who are old that acts young and people who are young and acts old. There is nothing wrong with it. When two people are in love nothing else matters:)I personally never dated anyone who was older or younger than myself and not saying that i never will it's who ever God has for me. Another thing, people shouldnt worry about what others think because at the end of the day no one cares!!
*Joyful*
Well Daniel, i would have to say that if you started dating after college then i would agree, but i have a friend who is in love with some one who is ten years older than her. Now she is 15 and i have a huge problem with it. If the relationship is out of school and wanting to start a life together then i have no problem with it, but when you are in highschool or college i think that it is not right because neither persons have the knoledge or the wisdom to kno what life has in store for them.
Brandt Breymeyer (9:00)
as long as both people are over eighteen then the age difference doesnt matter to me a bit. thats when you can vote and be sent of to war, so in my opinion you can be involved with who ever you want.
its when one person is like sixteen and the other is twenty that i think things are kind of weird. but thats just my view. my last girlfriend was seven years older than me and we got along just fine. we didnt break up because of anything either one of us did at the very least. as long as two people get along well and treat each other right then who cares?
Ten years? No biggy, though you were never in the same school at the same time, hopefully. And the age old argument is that older men are more mature and women look for those types..and yadda yadda. So if it works for the girl, then it's whatever. Now when you have a face fresh out of college getting involved with a 50 year old doctor...gold digging on one part, trying to feel young again on the other part. Age should matter in the aspects of wanting kids, or where to go in life. I have not dated anyone older because until recently, that would get that woman in a lot of trouble. If the person is nearing the age difference between you and your parents, there should be a lot of thinking as to why you jumping into this type of relationship.
my parents are eleven years apart, my dad being the elder. i see no problem with it. as long as both people are mature enough to handle the situation they can be as happy as anyone else can be.
when the women are older they tend to be viewed as "cougars", maybe trying to feel young again? or maybe they're in love. who knows? as long as you're mature, in love, and want to spend the rest of your life with someone, age shouldn't matter. (unless of course this girl is 12. barf.)
I think that at this age, the difference doesn't matter. when people in high school are dating someone ten yrs older, then i disagree with that. if you love each other, then that should be all that matters. i've only dated someone with about year in difference so i don't have this experience but like i said, if you're happy then nothing else should matter.
i think my main point is that age doesn't matter when you're all grown up and married but when you're young, keep it within a couple years.
Like Pam said 10yrs is not too bad of an age gap.I always dated older women myself but now that Im older the older women are like OLD women.Her reasoning about communicating is prob. pretty true also you should think about when one person is 50 and the other is 35 the 50 yr old is probably ready to mellow out stay home and rub Ben-Gay on their sore parts but the 35yr old will still be ready to party and go out and have an active social life.But personally i guess if your an old geezer and can get some younger hottie then go for it.Same for the old hags,if they can get some young stud to scratch their itch than you go girl
I really do not see a ten year age gap to be that big of an issue. I think that with only ten years that you still have a lot in common and can relate quite a bit, yet you still get to share with the other some experiences that they might not get the opportunity with some one there own age. Some people say that when couples start to have gaps as big as 20 and 30 years then it is wrong, I have mixed feeling about that, if two people love each other then thats great for them and it shouldnt bother any one else. So basically I think that if both partners are over the legal age then the age really isnt that big of a factor.
I think that it is alright if it is after highschool. Not only do i think it is wrong, but its just really weird. If she is 16 and ten years younger than you, its just not right. I have an aunt and uncle that are 11 years apart. They are perfectly happy, they have been for their entire lives together. There is nothing wrong with that. He treats her great and she the same. I'm not sure what to think about 20 years. If they are truly inlove, then who cares. They love each other.
I love age differences in marriage! I've thought about it a lot and I think it's great when two people of different age ranges find love. We know that women and men mature differently so age shouldn't really matter. I hate how older women and younger men get looked at differently than older men and younger women. Age shouldn't be looked at, it should be the relationship.
I've always wanted an older boyfriend (my age limit cuts at 35 though...it's strange to think that my mom could possibly date him) because I thought he might be able to offer what a 20 something might not (i'm not a gold digger...promise!).
We're all looking for something different so relationships shouldn't be judged harshly
?Why are women always the ones being looked as badly as either cougars or gold diggers? What's up with that one?
I don't see nothing wrong with a older man or woman dating a younger man or woman that's of age & the other way around. It's about people being compatible in mind & spirit, that's the problem with any age difference if there are any .... classmate T ware
I believe that age should not matter because I have dated a girl that was 2 years older than me and our relationship was fine. I think the age shouldn't matter when chooseing a spouse or dating because to me as long as you love each other, then age shouldn't matter.
Chris Waters
i have no problem with an age difference in relationships. if your both of age then it shouldn't really matter how old either of you are as long as you love each.
Derek Diesburg
I agree with Pam, i dont think that a difference of about 10 years or so would matter that much. When people learn to trust one another it doesnt matter how much of an age difference there is. Im sure there are some extreme cases when couples are together but have a huge age difference. But when you see a 60 years old man and a 25 years old, it just doesnt seem right does it? Plus you know are a lot of gold diggers out there, male and female.
To me age really doesn't matter. I think if you are in love your in love, and you should do whatever makes you happy, because you don't really know when all of its going to go away. It seems to me that i always end up going for the older guys, when i was 14 my bf was 19 and we were together almost 2 years. When i turned 18 my next bf was 27 and we were together about a year. So i've never really had a big problem with it, ohh and i did date a guy that was 3years younger them me but it didn't last very long, i found him to be to imature, and it got to be to annoying so i broke up with him.
Shanna Eastin
I dont think age should matter when it comes to choosing a spouse. I think that if you both have love then the age is just a number to you both. I do think that the age does matter if you arnt in love though. Back a long time ago When families tried to get their daughters to marry, they would force them with another man maybe twice or three times her age. I feel that if a women is older then it is actually a good thing, since men statistically die younger then women. You both statistically wold die at the same time, and i would hate for me or my spouce to have to live a long time in pain.
When a couple is over fifteens years apart it is crossing the line. The younger may not know what they want in life yet and the couple may not really have that much in common or the same thoughts. Its kind of creepy if you think about it. Say a couple was 16 years apart. The oldest one would have been driving a car around on the same day that the younger was being born, thats pretty gross if you think about it.
Ben Legner (1:00)
when people are young there is a limit on age, but once a certain age is reached it shouldnt matter. 18 is an age givin as a marker and people are concidered an adult then. once you are on your own as an adult and able to make your own decisions and be completely dependent it should not matter what the age is.
randy bustle
Ten years is not a big deal. I know several couples who are ten years apart and perfectly happy. But, I think it would be hard for me to fall in love with someone that much older or younger than me because you didn' go through common life experiences together. My boyfriend is 22 and we have been together for over three years... and I have to admit it was a little weird when he went to college and I still had three more years of high school. Now that I'm just starting college, he is almost done and looking for a full-time job. But, in the future if we're still together, three years is not a big deal at all. So obviously your position in life makes a huge difference, and the older you get, the less age matters.
Ten years is not a big deal as long as the younger one is at least twenty. If a teenager is dating someone ten years older than them then I find it odd and not very suitable. I think it is most often found socially acceptable for the guy to be older than the girl than the girl to be older than the guy. It doesn't matter to me either way. Personally I choose to stay in a range of 1 year younger to 3 years older than myself. I just feel that way the person that I am dating will be closer to the same spot in life that I am. Making being together easier.
Brittany Clapper 9:00
I have no problem with an age difference between a couple of any age span, as long as it is legal and both people are competent enough to understand. I have never been in a relationship with a girl more than 3 years difference, but i would be ok with it as long as i was older. If i dated a girl right now that was 10 years younger than me, than she would be 9, and that i would have a problem with. I think after 18, the age difference should not really matter, as long as their intentions are good.
Kevin Dozier 9:00
I don't think that age should matter in a relationship as long as it is between two consenting adults. Most people don't walk around with age on their mind, so when they meet someone and decide to become involved it shouldn't be an issue. People can't help who they are attracted to and shouldn't care what others think either. I think that society makes it seem bad for an older man to date a younger woman, but I don't see a difference. I don't think it matters whether the man or the woman is older.
i dont think it matters. people make a big deal about age differences for no reason. as long as your both of age. if there is a strong connection, then go for it. live and learn.
colin h.
i dont think that age should make a difference it is just another media mind game to give you something to bitch about. Some people me being one of them prefer to be witha older women.
no as long as you both are at the age to get married.
65 mustang
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