Do you know of anyone who has been a victim of domestic abuse or family violence? If so, what in your view were the consequences of the abuse? How common do you think domestic abuse is in our society? What are the possible causes and effects of domestic abuse? How can this problem be dealt with better in our society?If you need more information on this subject, you might have a quick look at this site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violenceThank you for your time.
Cristobal Gonzalez (9:00 class)
Cristobal Gonzalez (9:00 class)
14 comments:
One of my best friends from back home was abused by his dad when he was little. I'd say the consequences of him being abused were obviously the pain and scars he had. I think because he was abused he was a little less likely to trust people. He was also more violent than a regular person. Sometimes he would breakdown and not know what to do. He was on his own for awhile while his dad left and his mom always worked. I think abuse has a lot of consequences. I know on the outside and inside he was hurting a lot and he didn't know who to turn to so he turned to violence himself. I don't know the solution for abuse. I know it took a hard toll on my friend, and it is a tough thing to go through.
Lance Hanmer
I actually had a brief( very Brief) run in with domestic violence. I think it happens way more than we think. I had an idea that my relationship was escalating in the wrong way and was to afraid to get out, until one night he tried to come at me and I stood my ground with a baseball bat. It didn't go any further( except for the Order of Protection), but it was kind of scary worring if he would be so pissed off he would do something else. I also have a cousin in law(female) who was the abuser in the relationship beating up her husband, so it can go both ways. I think if society dealt with it head on and not try to make the victim feel bad about what happened than more women and men would speak up. The hard thing is though you may have people crying wolf and putting an innocent person behind bars. I think a victim of abuse can be scared for life if they don't get help or at least talk about it. I have a friend that admits to having an abusive father and when you look at her current relationship it has carried over because her husband is totally verbally abusive by putting her down when in fact she is a beautiful women, yet since she never got help for her past she continues to relive it with a different type of abuse. Sometimes if the signs are definate and the person admits to being abused or being the abuser than it should be mandatory for them both to get help, it is a crime and if the abuser was caught they would go to jail so the person who gets abused should also be made to get help(obviously not jail jail, but maybe counseling).Amy Marx
i had a lot of experience with domestic abuse. I think that people just get that it wont happen again in thier head or they think that it is going to stop. Or maybe they are even just afraid to stand up tp they and leave them so it keeps happpening. I know that it effected me a lot. I find it hard to trust people now. So i just think that abuse is common in relationships that have a lot of jealousy or lying and it happens more that people think because people dont like to talk about it.
Amanda Borders
I do know of someone who has been a victum of domestic abuse. The consequence of their abuse was the person went to jail and the other person didn't have anything happen to them. My case may be a little different than a normal one but I wanted to mention it anyway. In this case just because the person was a male he got arrested because he was just trying to calm a female down by holding her down. She was going crazy and it wasn't even his fault. I believe domestic abuse is very common today with all of the people that suffer from alcoholism. I believe that there is really nothing that can prevent it. It is going to happen no matter what, people naturally don't get along sometimes.
I don't know anyone who has been abused by a family member. When I was little my dad spanked me for things I thought were stupid things to be spanked for so I thought that I was being abused but now that I am older I am kinda thankful or it because I am a better person for it. I think there are people who take it way to far that it's to the point that it is abuse. Many time the reason for abuse is that the parent or even siblings is that the person is intoxicated or they are so stressed that hitting something is the only way they think can relieve them of the stress. There are people who think that the kids or wife or whomever they are beating is the source of their problems. The worst though is the people who beat others for the fun of it. It is hard to respect those who abuse their family members, but you as human being must go and do what you can for the victim of abuse. Help them when they have no one else to turn to. They need friends who will listen to them and their problems.
Jarrod Winder
Domesetic abuse is horrible. I've seen a friend of mines mom be abused, and my own mom was abused. Her first husband use to beat her, and verbially abuse her. she finally went to court divorcing him, and charging him with the abuse. Even then he pushed her down the court stairs in front of everyone, including the judge, just to kill my older brother. My mom was 9 months pregnant with him at this time. He now lives in california where you dont have to pay child support, and its not illegal where if you beat your wife up and kill the baby; you wont get charged for murder over the baby. Domestic abuse should have harsh consequences because of the fact that men are usually stronger then women. Now i know there are exceptions, but still the male fasique is stonger then womens. Thats why the punishment should be great, because its almost an unfair advantage that men have. Maybe if the consequences were great the abuse rate would be significantly down.
Justin crowley
Im not really sure what to say about this because i guess im not fully sure of what domestic abuse is. If domestic abuse is something like my dad or mom hitting, kicking, or pushing me even though i am still under the age of 18 then yes i know what it is but if its something other then that then im really not sure. I mean i guess my situation is domestic abuse cause it my parents are my family, but i never really see it like that because they always say its punishment for whatever i did wrong. I know alot of people who have the same problems that i do so i would stay that is does happen alot more then we think it does. You would never know some people where domestically abused unless they told you because its so easy to hide or to say that something else happened. I also think that people, more or so kids like me, so say anything about being domestically abused because we dont know its domestic abuse we just think thats how it works. I mean of course we dont like it but whos going to believe us over our parents. Certainlly not the police because i remember i time where my mom spit in my face and walked to my room and cried she called the police and they said i needed to respect her more becuase i walked off. We dont say anything because we dont know who can really help us. Plus in the end the parents i coming to end up winning any case so whats the use of even trying to fight it. Domestic abuse does happen alot but the people who do the abusing what happens to them, a couple of months in jail or just pay the bail. Which ever comes first.
Destini Reed
Domestic abuse is all around us, as hard as it sounds but it does exist. My aunt is a victim her husband would beat her up all the time as a result her children grew up in a hostile environment. My aunt didnt do anything about it because she said that she didnt want her children to grow up with out their father, so she put up with him all the time. I wish there was something that could prevent domestic abuse, but i dont know of any solution to it, But one thing i can say is that there should be harsh punishments for domestic abuse.
Nolberto
i remember one day in high school when my friend walked over to my locker, almost with a tear in his eye. on side of his face was viciously red. apparently his dad slapped him a couple of times the day before because he didnt do something he wanted. he ended up moving with his mom. i didnt know what to do then but as time made me wiser i feel bad for my friend not only because of the physical abuse, but because of the emotional damage. he probably has an idea that all fathers are violent and ignorant, and thinks that he should be the same too when he grows up. that is just sad. i know for a fact that if you are a parent of more than one child and you kiss one of your children, you better kiss everyone of them as this instigates jealosy and hate and i think that is one kind of abuse too. emotional or physical, parents need to be aware of their effect on their children. words like "hurry up you are slow", "why didnt you do it you are lazy", "how can you fail, you are an idiot" that tell the child what the parent is actually thinking of them are one of the main causes of emotional damage. i think most of the abuse is caused by alcohol and drugs. the stress factor comes in and BAM! i think society has done its best to try to stop these kind of crimes and are still working on it. but i think that lessons should be taught in college about child abuse as plenty of parents just dont know!
BAHAA ABU SALIM
I feel that domestic abuse is very bad. If a abuser takes the abuse too far it might lave the victim heartstrucked for a long time oy maybe the rest of their life. When a child is being abused at home most of the time they are afraid to admit it to anyone or tell on that person. Domestic Abuse is among all the other types of abuse that goes on in today's society. Domestic, Verbal, Physical, Mental are all affective on humans, and even animals. If you are a user of any 1 of these abuses you are more than likely to go down what your doing. If your are a victim of any kind of abuse you should get help and then tell someone so this won't continue. Most of the time when people don't say anything about being abused is because they are afraid of what going to happen when they get back home or wherever the abuse is taking place. If you go ahead and face your fears and confess youare more than likely to get some kind of justice.
I do know a few people that have been abused. They have been some pretty close friends of mine. When i had found out what had happen i was so made that i wanted to go and hurt the guys that did this to my firend. People should not have to put up with abuse. There are better people out there that will treat people with respect. Once it happens it is really hard to trust people again.
Phillip Poppe
I have never personally seen, or been the target of domestic abuse, verbal or physical.
But, I do have some strong feelings about it.
Domestic abuse, verbal or physical, burns me to the very core. How can one abuse someone they supposedly care for? It's wrong in every sense to me, and every time I see a case like that it just disgusts me.
I think some causes are the scars of it. If a child is hit by their father, what is that going to do to a child emotionally? Physically, the child will be fine assuming the parent doesn't hit them to almost death. But emotionally? Emotional scars are damn near impossible to fully heal, and they'll carry that feeling to some degree all throughout their lives.
I can't really say on how common domestic abuse is, but I definitely think it's there. It's the idiots who think that they should "run the household" because they are superior to their partner, which is just plain bullshit to me. Every time I see someone like that I just want to hit them with a steel bad.
How can this be handled? Well...you've seen my feelings about this, anyone who gets caught with domestic abuse should be thrown in jail and left to rot I think. Other than that, I'm not sure what can be done to truly prevent this.
Blake Widmer
I have grown up to learn onld fashioned values. One of them is to have respect and to be curdious to women (Growing up Catholic helped that out a bit!). I think that domenstic abuse is something that is a major porblem with our society. No one deserves to have to live in a place with someone that hurts them. It discusts me to asolutely no end.
I was talking to one of my friends a few years ago and he told me that he would never hit a woman in front of me because he thought that I would kill him right where he stood. This guy is about six feet tall and weighs 300+ pounds and I only weigh 170 and he thought that I would get so made that I would actually beat him to death. I think that that isn't to far from the truth.
These men that are found beating their wives or girlfriends deserve to be dragged out into the street and beat within an inch of their lives. It is beyond me why someone would find the need to vent their anger by hitting someone that they supposidly love. Those people are sissys and should be locked up.
I think that in order to resolve this problem, there needs to be more protection and aid given to those that are effected by domestic abuse. Harsher punishments should be given to those convicted as well. I am just fortunate to not have any experience in this matter and hopefully I never will.
Ryan Bales
I was a victim of domestic violence in two relationships. I chose to leave my first abuser, losing everything I owned. The second was the father of my children. We were together for a long time, and he turned violent. I kicked him out, and haven't seen him since. I didn't plan on ever being involved in a violent relationship, nor will I ever be again.
I think this is a huge problem in the United States. I feel in our countries, they consider it a form of discipline for women. I feel most women are afraid to leave their abuser, and I understand that. I believe many abusers convince the victim there is no one to help them, making them feel they don't have options when they do. I find it very sad that women chose to stay in these situations. One thing to remember that domestic violence doesn't only happen in middle to lower class families, it is very common in upper class families.
Cheri Adkins
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