I have two biracial children and struggle with what they are missing and what they go through and are going to go through. I am white and the father is black, but he is not in their lives. All they know is what I can teach them and show them; I feel they are going to miss out on their heritage. I also fear what they are going to have to endure growing up, as far as who they feel they belong to and how society is going to treat them. I believe they have all the options in the world and are going to benefit from both sides, because in my eyes they are my children and color doesn't matter to me. I watch people when they see them call me mommy and people can be, and are cruel. I guess what I'm asking is what can I do as the parent to help them, teach them, guide them, and most of all protect them? How can I give them what I don't have or know?
Autumn (10:00)
25 comments:
Do your best to show them where they come from. Society is rude and cruel, but dont let those people bring you or your children down. They are just nasty people that have no open mind. We all bleed the same. The schools will show them some of their heritage and if they have more questions then go to the library and get some books to show them more of what they want to know. There are also so internet sites that can help explain their heritage.
jodi
I think that you should just do your best to teach them about their heritage. If they have some questions I guess that you could look some of the stuff up to see if that would help. Or you could see if you could find someone with the same heratige would be willing to help you. Some people don't know how to not judge and don't know when to stop. I don't know why biracial children are such a problem for some people because a person is a person no matter how you look at it. If people can't take it then that is their problem. That just means that they would be missing out on getting to know some great people who could become very important people in the world's future.
Justine Miller
I would look at it that your children are at a greater advantage because they are two different ethnicities. I bet you see your children grow up to be two very strong individuals and part of that will come from being biracial. I am sure at some point they will have to deal with something being said or done that hurts them, but that is where you come in and tell them that they are beautiful and sometimes it is better to not blend in. My daughter goes to school with several biracial children and we have talked with her about why people have different skin colors, but there is only one race, the human race. Just raise them to know that racism is wrong and that they are lucky to be who they are.
Amy (10a.m.)
Don't let cruel closed minded people rule yours or your childrens' lives. I totally agree with Amy that you should focus on the positives of both races. Research black history and learn about it along with your kids. Then research your family history and teach them that they can draw from both heritages and be the best that they can be. Show your kids through your actions and daily living that they are only limited in life if they let life limit them. Teach them to be kind and caring people. Surround yourself with supportive adults that will help you teach your kids that even though their dad isn't in their lives, other adults can fill that gap.
Lois (10:00)
When I have children, I know they are going to be mixed, as well. Me and my boyfriend have been together for awhile now and he's black and I'm white. We know we will have kids one day and I am thankful enough to know that their father will be there. I feel the same way you do. I want my children to know all of their heritage but you can't do it alone. It's aweful that they're father isn't their but if any other part of his family is envolved you should have them help out and teach about their side of the family. I don't think society will treat them too bad. We as a world have gotten a lot better about that. Color doesn't matter to me either and it's great that you want to teach your kids about themselves. It's a hard job, expeciialy when you don't know all of their family history. A little help is all you need.
-- Heather Alber
I have no kids of mine own yet, but I always have my niece with me and she is mixed too, and most people think she is mine, so I know where you are coming from. And I know one day I will most likely have mixed kids too, It’s sad that their father is not in their lives, but that is his lost—not theirs or yours. I wouldn’t worry too much about what people are going to think or say, society is opening up to biracial people more and more everyday! Your love and support is all they need!!
~Brittney (10:00)
So many people still have a closed mind, This is 2010. I think you should find someone of there race to talk to,try your best to teach them what you know. I agree with with Heather maybe you could talk to some of his family. Kasha Topps
I am not a parent so I don't exactly have advise or an answer but I've spent most my life around children. My mom runs a daycare and I want to be a teacher so they are going to be around forever with me. My cousin is the same way as your children though, her mother is white and her father is black, but she doesn't even know him. She went to a high school where there was probably about three other people that were her color. But I don't feel like she missed out on anything. She went to prom, she played sports, and she has a best friend. As far as protecting them, i think that is a question all parents ask. As kids grow they will start to understand more and you can teach them more. As long as you feel you are doing your best and are guiding them in the right direction theres not much else you can do for them.
Kaylan
As a mother myself I know how you feel. We as parents have to protect our children from the bad things that they will come in contract with. Just do your best to teach them right from wrong. You can't control how and what people will do. Even though their father isn't in their lives, is there family around for the children to know their other side of their family. If there isn't there is not much you can do, but teach them want you know. Don't beat yourself up over something that you have no control over; other people. It is hard, but you will make the best chose for your children. If you know other parents with biracial children talk with them and see how they are dealing with their situation.
Anita Freeman
I think your doing an awsome job! Just by loving your childeren no matter what the case is a big deal because for some mothers its hard for them to do that. Your kids will learn about thier heratage but more importent theyll learn about the blessing of a super mom. Their is not a parent out thier that can teach thier kids everything, they sometimes have to learn on thier own and find out who they are. I know how it feels to be judged by color but i aways had family that understood. Your childeren are a part of you as much as thier dad. The people that stair at you probably cant stand the fact that you could be a better mother. Their is nothing wrong with being biracial, i know a few people that are in the same situation. Sometimes its unfair because one time a girl who is in the 9th grade went up to a little 5year old boy and called him the "N" word (i dont like to say it because its rude) and her mom flip shit when she found out. I dont even think taht the boy even knew what she was taking about. This mother would do anything for her child and i dont know what thier is you can do as a parent when your giving them everything they need and deserve.
Jesus
The comments that I have gooten are astounding and very encouraging and supportive. I appreciate you all so much for sharing with me and giving me the motivation to look at what they do have and not what they don't. Thank You again!
Autumn
I'm not sure how old your children are but just be honest with them and teach them as much as possible. Dont let what other people say or do make them feel less of their selves because that not right. They have just as much as and opportunity as any one else. Just be there every step of the way and guide them as best as you can. Let nothing and no one stop them from being them!!!!
Ashley Mitchell
I think that you should teach them about where they come from, and that they should be proud of what they are. I don't know the age of your kids but if they are young just teach them that what other people say does not matter because anywhere you go there are going to be people that think differently of them and all I have to say about those people is that they are small minded and need to understand that we are all human beings and everybody should be treated with respect. They need to be proud of who they are and where they come from. Teach them all you can about their heritage, the more they know about their heritage then the more proud and confident they will be as a person.
Jake Oltean (10:00)
I think people who still judge people based on their skin color are ignorant. It doesn't matter what color they are it just matters how you raise them. If you raise them with good morals and how to be fair to everyone I think they will be just fine. I have a friend who has a white mother and a black father and I don't see her any differently than any other of my friends. If you raise your children with the correct people surronding them who don't care about who their mom is and who their dad is I thnk they will be just fine. Just do your best to treat them no differently just based on their skin color.
Becky Gryczewski
You should do your best being a single parent. Try and teach them as much as you can about thier heritage. I think that being a single parent makes you stronger in some areas. Since its just you, you know that you have to protect your children even more.
Nolan
My mother was a single parent and I am mixed as well. My father was Turkish and my mother is from Russia but I didnt have my father around growing up and I think my mother did great by the way she raised me because she did her best teaching me about heritage and being multi cultural. It is something were common among people now days. I am sure you are a great parent.
Neli Aryani (10:00)
I think that the best thing that you can do is to just be the loving mother that your kids deserve. And who cares what people think, all you can do is teach them all that you know and try to protect them for as long as you can.
Andy Dodge
Society is very harsh specially when it comes to being different, but biracial children are becoming more and more common. Maybe keep them involved with more biracial children so they do not feel targeted and they can learn from them bout their heritage. I'm from a small town but we have many many different cultures and i have learned so much by each just going to school there and being friends with them.
Lindsey (9:00)
If you kids want to know about their heritage just do your best to teach them about it. There are always places on the internet you can go to our you can look at books at the library. I know when there are biracial kids some people are not nice to them. I think there is nothing wrong with having biracial kids. I would not mind one day having biracial kids. My brother will he is from America and my sister in law is from Ecuador.
Jessica Brooks
well you can go to diffrent places that will help and teach you how to handle your biracial children.
65 mustang
In my opinion you should just teach them what you know and let them decide what to do with their lives but give them a good path of good grades, kindness, shelter, clothes, and the right nutrition.
To give them what you do not have and to tell them what you do not know, you should send them to the library and have them study and read books on all subjects. This way they can gain answers that they have questions to.
For the things you dont have, ask around to see if some people have things to give. Churches are a good place to ask at.
--Jeremy Harding
I think the only thing you realy can do is constantly involve yourself in their life. Listen to them, watch them, learn from them.. make them strong through your example.
Jed Ten o'clock
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