Does a 20-year difference in age make a significant difference in a relationship and can such a relationship stand the test of time? Do your views change if the relationship is interacial?
What do you see as the primary drawbacks or benefits to a relationship in which one person is several or many years older than the other?
How much older/younger than you would you allow your partner to be? Why?
Thank you for your help!
George A. Washington III
13 comments:
The only problem I have with relationships when it comes to age is when a person who is a person takes advantage of someone much youner. Thankfully there is a law in place for just this reason. And even though some people are up in arms about this, saying that they are genuinly in love with someone under age, it is not worth risking those who would other wise have been taken advantage of.
As far as everything else goes, if a couple is several years apart, as long as the younger person is a sensable adult then there is no room for anyone eles to judge, it is possible for two adults to have everything in common but thier age.
With reguards to interracial relationships, it is a shame that society still harbors a few who have a problem with this. Like I said before, if they are two adults then it does not matter what thier hertitige is.
-Matt
If two people are dating and are 20 years apart, the immediate assumption is that the older of the two is interested in the physical looks of the younger. But if its two people who are 20 years apart and married, then one could assume that either the marriage won't last long because of physical looks, or it was simply a mere coincidence that one is much older than the other. To me, nothing really matters whether a person is black or white. Let's say a 50 year old man is in a relationship with a 30 year old woman. The woman may want to go clubing, to bars, do fun, exciting things, when the 50 year old man is used to going to bed at 9. There would have to be several common interests between the two people in order to date. The older person has lived their life. Going to them for advice would be a benefit for the younger person. I myself don't really have a problem with dating an older person, but he would have to be amazing for me to even consider. I'm 17, so I'd say he could be no older than 30, but I don't go looking for people based on their age.
First of all, no, race doesn't affect my view on the issue. The problem lies elsewhere. Large age differences in relationships can often be confusing to someone outside of the relationship. It's a little awkward when you see a guy kissing the woman you've been thinking was his mother. Even if the age-divided couple isn't affected by what others think, they still have to get past differences caused by the age gap. For one thing, their maturity level may be different, since they are at different points in their lives. In some ways, this can be helpful. One may be dealing with something the other has already been through, and so the older one can help the younger one through the situation. Still, I have to wonder what benefit the older member of the relationship is getting that they couldn't get from someone closer to their own age. I don't see myself in a relationship with someone much older or much younger than myself, but if some people can get past all the obstacles this causes, I guess there isn't any reason for them not to try it.
I do not have a problem with a person dating another from a different race. Although, many still feel that it is wrong, I am glad to see a greater movement into interracial relationships. I think it does our society some good to see that color really does not matter. People are People end of story.
With that said, I have a hard time imaginng myself with a person 20 years older than me. That would make my boyfirend 36... which is the same age as my father. That aint right. Especially since I am still in high school, My dating limit is 3 years difference.That is just my personal opinion, and what I am comfortbale with.
I have seen relationships that have worked out even though there was a significant age difference. People of all ages can have common interests, and abilites.
Age is sort of an issue with me at this stage of my life, but as I get into college years I do not think age should cause any problems for me.
-cassandra griffith
To me, this is a personal choice matter. As long as both people are adults, I think that we shouldn't make a judgement for another couple about age or race issues. I do think that it is easy for a couple with a big age difference, not to see much of a problem while they are in their say 20's and
40's, but once it is 40 and 60, or 50 and 70 the difference could be a bigger issue. I am thinking of things like health issues, retirement, energy levels,and childbearing. These are all factors that everyone has to explore and decide for themselves how they feel and what they will do regarding their relationship.
I definitely don't see a problem with two people who have a big age difference being together, as long as they can deal with it. If you love someone enough to withstand glares, whispers, and nasty words from people who don't agree with your choices, then there should be nothing to worry about. Certain people are young at heart, while others have old souls. Everyone is looking for different things out of a relationship. Maybe an older woman dating a younger man makes her feel beautiful and him feel lucky to have a woman with so much life experience. Maybe an older man dating a younger woman makes him feel youthful and her feel secure. Whatever the reason, that is the individual's decision. Having different races will only increase the number of people who disagree with your choices. As long as they love each other, however, that shouldn't even matter. People who love you should be able to accept or even embrace the relationship; if they can't, they should at least be able to live with it. I would probably only go about 5 years older than me, and maybe only a year younger, but that is solely because I know exactly what I want out of a relationship. I would never look down on someone for who they fall in love with.
I think there are a lot of variables that come into play on this question. Would a 100 year old person with a 80 year old person make a difference, or even a 60 year old and a 40 year old person? Probably not. Now if it was a 38 year old and a 18 year old, you would probably have a problem. I don't think a relationship like that would make it. I think that the younger person would miss out on a lot of things that younger people do, and realize it later, and try to live out those days later in life. The older person would probably hold them back on that. What I just mentioned would be one of the drawbacks in the relationship. One of the benefits could be that one of the partners will probably die a lot earlier and the other would have insurance money to play with. I know, thats pretty sick thinking. My views would be the same no mater what kind of relationship it was. There is a seven year difference between my wife and I. I think personally that I would try to stay within ten years of each other. I think that more than ten years you start to get into a generation gap thing, and that could possibly cause problems.
Honestly, I don't think age matters one bit if you love someone it shouldn't matter age, race, gender. The benefits is the man is mature and they know how to treat a woman. I think socially though it would be hard because people are so judgmental, and look at you like so different. I think 15 years would be the oldest i would date unless i really had that attraction someone much older.
i personally probably would not date someone who is that older than me. It doesnt matter if they are black or white that's not the case. It's just that i think the person who is dating a 20 year old has some kind of issue with dating someone of the around age. To were they have to date youndger. But, if they can get over that then that is great.
Katherine Schluter
A 20 year difference is a big gap. And even though when one is 40, the other isn’t even legal to drink, I feel it is alright. As long as the younger person is at least 18 and able to know what is wrong and right. Love is love and you can’t stop two people from wanting to be together. If it is interracial, it wouldn’t matter, my views stay the same. I was in an interracial relationship and just like age shouldn’t really matter all that much, neither should color. The drawbacks are that some of society thinks that the older one is doing something wrong or taking advantage of someone who is many years younger. Because when someone who is way older is attracted to someone who is younger it is assumed that it’s physical. I’m not really sure of what my limit would be for an older or younger man. But I would probably wouldn’t care if it were actually love.
~Jamie~
I will be writing this on behalf of MY experience with an older man at this very moment. I am 21, about to go to school for my masters, and Caribbean American (black and hispanic). I am currently 'courting' a man who is 38 and white.
My experience in this has shown me I am not being taken advantage of, that I am seen as an equal to him, and that older men do EVERYTHING better,
What is most importanyt is that there is no age limit to soul mates.
My age limit used to be 10 years, but he very easily got me to reconsider at the very least.
I also am speaking from personal experience. In the past I would have thought 4-5 years was a large age difference but I am now dating someone who is 16 years older than me. I am 26 and she is 42. We have a lot in common and I usually just feel like we're the same age.
well, if you're disabled u have it pretty tough in the dating game but there are specialist dating sites for disabled people
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filipinaheart
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