Is spanking bad for kids? Does spanking border on being child abuse? If you're okay with spanking, at what point do you think some parents cross the line and take it too far? For instance, is it okay to hit your child with a belt or paddle? Is it okay to leave a mark? Why do you have these views? If you have kids, do you spank them? If you plan to have them, do you plan to spank them? What purpose do you think spanking serves that can't be achieved in another way? Thanks for your help!
16 comments:
I dont really think it's child abuse as long as you dont leave a mark or actually injure them... my parents spanked me and i have nothing against it. we can't learn if we dont have discipline, and spanking was always the discipline i feared most as a child! it kept me in line and i'm certainly not emotionally (or physically, hehe) scarred from it.
-blake
"Spare the rod and spoil the child!" I believed this for my whole life and I'm going to use this parenting on my kids in the future. I can't stand nothing more than whiny kids whose parents just give there kids a timeout or something silly like that. Is that really productive? NO! Infact when I was a kid and I got a timeout I was like hell yes! My parents did use spanking as a way for discipline and I didn't turn out to be a violent guy. There is times where parents can over do it. If you actually injure the kid or bruise them then you've gone to far. A little spank on the ass isn't going to hurt anyone, but it's going to send a serious message to the child that this is unacceptable. The only other alternative is grounding your kids and that won't work until they're older.
Dan Berger
From Debra Porter:
I think that spanking is not bad to do, my mother did it to me and my sister, and I know I will be doing it to my children. I do believe that really hurting them is bad, because that could mean the parent is taking out their anger on the child instead of trying to teach the child a lesson and that is wrong. I think it is wrong to spank with a belt or paddle. I believe in these views because I know that when I was a child if my mother hadn't spanked me or grabbed my arm tightly then I wouldn't have ever listened to her or learned my lesson about anything. I see lots of mothers these days (especially with my boyfriends family because I'm around them a lot) and when they're child is bad all they do is glare at them or slap them on the hand, I've never seen any spanking happen. And trust me, it's been needed. Well, in my opinion. Then theres other people I've seen that when their child whines and screams all they do is give in to the child. And that is wrong too. For example, I've seen a child not want to eat their breakfast because they saw candy and wanted that instead. So my boyfriend told the child "not until you eat your breakfast" and took it out of the childs reach and the child threw a tantrum and ran to the mother. The mother took the child out of the room and was mad at my boyfriend. What ended up happening was the child didnt eat any more breakfast and was given candy. Sometimes I think it's just better to let the child throw the tantrum and learn something themselves. Now see if the child hadn't been given everything they've ever wanted then they wouldn't even want the candy. Honestly, I'm going to try to NOT get my child hooked on candy. I've seen another child that has cavities, and not just small ones, where they have to cover the tooth with silver or however they do it, and she is only 5! I mean, how wrong is that?? It just shows the parents give in to whatever the child wants (like candy) or doesnt teach their child good habits (like brushing their teeth.) I'm 18 and I've never had any cavities.
Okay, so I totally got off the subject here but it really makes me angry when parents dont discipline their children like they should. I know I wont let my children get away with whatever they want and they wont get every toy or piece of clothing or whatever it is they want. I cant stand to see whining kids getting anything and everything they want. The parent is in charge, not the child. That is why they call them parents.
Hi. This is from Jan Baker:
As a mother, I can tell you that I don't believe in spanking as a first resort. I believe in trying to redirect a child's behavior and show them a better alternative. I do know however that a firm swat on the hind end has helped an out of control child straigten up real quick. Spanking is one of those things that parents really need to ask theirselves if they have tried to do everything possible before spanking, because a parent should never spank a child while they are feeling outraged. If you don't have your emotions in check, how can you quarantee you will not hurt your child. I can understand why there are laws. Alot of parents have taken their frustrations out on their kids in horrific, abusive ways in the name of "teaching a lesson" or "punishment" . I also know that for some kids, spanking does not always get the response a parent is expecting. In fact, when I was a kid, I would laugh when I got spanked. Laughing was a defense I used instead of crying. That used to annoy my parents. Fortunately, they didn't keep hitting me until I cried (I know that has happened to some kids)
People really need to be careful, cautious, and controlled when they choose to use spanking as a punishment. Also try to think of other ways to help your child understand what they are doing or what they did is wrong. Also helping a child go apologize to whomever for their wrongdoing is punishment in itself most of the time. I will never forget having to get money out of my piggy bank and having to take it to the store along with the half eaten candy bar I stole. I not only had to pay for it and apologize, I had to leave it there. I couldn't bring myself to eat chocolate for a LONG time after that! Like, I said before...I have really great kids, who are very well behaved (most of the time)and respectful of others -- I can count the number of times I spanked them on one hand. I always try to talk with my kids about their actions (and one time my oldest daughter told me that can be way worse than getting a quick spanking!)
Hey Sonja! This is from Stephanie :)
I think that spanking a child has its up and downs. I believe that spanking is alright, if the kids are not listening and there is absolutly no other way, they a spank on the ass will do them good. I do not think spanking them all the time is alright, that can get out of control and you could begin to scare you children. They will begin to assume there are always going to get spanked if they do something bad. When a parent takes spanking to far, i think you can tell when that happens becasue the children start acting differently and are always standing on pins and needels wondering if they are going to get spanked or not. I do not think spanking and leaving a mark is appropriate, you shouldnt be hitting them that hard. I know parents always threaten ti use a belt or a paddle, that is usually to scare them first. I know my aunt always threatned her children with a huge paddle that had hearts in the middle, and her son was acting up, and being a smart ass, and just would not listen, she tried spanking him and his reply was "That didn't hurt" She got that paddle out and spanked him with that and he still smarted off, i mean he did have a mark, but she wasnt doing it on purpose. I know my parents used to spank me, but that was only a few times when i was young, I think you can learn discipline at an early age, and the better you will be. If you have no discpline your children could get out of control and they will not listen to you. That can get frustrating as a parent.
When i have children, i will spank them, not hard, but to show discpline. To make known who the "boss" is. I mean i will try to talk to them first but sometimes when they are really young they are not gonna understand what anything means. They wiill understand when you spank them, that they did something wrong and will learn they cant do that. I thinnk spanking them is the last resort by any means, but you will have to show some kind of discpline in their life. If it comes down to spanking and you have tried everything else, and spanking works, then use it. Whatever type of discpline you use, stick with it and dont back down!
Hope this helps!
Spanking your kids can be very good and yet bad for your kids. Some parents seem to take the dicipline out of the "punishment" and just use thier rage to beat the child.
When i was a child, my parents used a wooden spoon as a spanking tool and sometimes a shoe or something else. My mom started to take it to the extreme. She would beat us out of rage to what we had done instead of a few swift tabs on the behind. some of the things that she did have left me emotionally scarred for life.
I will punish my kids with a small spanking and when they they get older try other means. Talking to them about what they did wrong sometimes teaches a very valuable lesson, without the emotion scar for the rest of thier lives.
Hope this helps!
Bridgette Overmyer
I don't believe spanking kids is bad. Parents need to have some physical punishment that will help that kid learn what is right and what is wrong. Parents should only be able to spank their kids with their hand. Using a paddle or a belt is considered child abuse in my opinion. If a mark is left while spanking with a hand, it is okay since it probably won't be there very long. I do not have kids, but when I do, I will probably use spanking as a punishment. I believe spanking would be used as a punishment tool for kids to learn right or wrong. It's a universal punishment that kids learn at a young age.
Jeremy Lamb
This is always a touchy subjet to comment on. There is a difference between spanking ana beating, and discipline and abuse.
For example if you are beating your 3-year old in the store for touching thing or begging for candy, then you have a problem. A 3-year old is supposed to be curios or want skittles.
I don't think that a child should be spanked for something they weren't aware of was wrong.
i beleive that different discipline methods work different for each child. A spanking should never be done out of anger, laziness on the parents behalf to deal with the situation, on a young child who doesn't know an better, to gain control or frustration. A spanking should be used only to get the childs attention. If you have to beat the child to get their attention, spanking is not the most affective method of discipline for that child. it only causes rebellion, anger, and hatred in the long run.
Richauna Williams
No i dont think spanking is bad for kids. no it doesnt people can tell the difference from a spanking an dwhen it is child abuse. when they start using heavy ogjects or there fist to hit a child. It is okay to hit your child with a belt now a paddle that is child abuse. no it is not if you leave a mark on a child that means you are hitting them to hard. i have these views because i think it is wrong to beat on your kids. if you just had kids to beat on them then you shouldnt have had any kids at all. yes i do plan on spanking my kids i they do something bad enough to get a spanking.
Edwidge Philizaire
I don’t believe spanking is a bad thing. We learn what’s acceptable and what is not by being rewarded for doing good, and being punished when we do bad. Spanking I believe is a good tool to use to discipline because it inflicts a small amount of pain (When not done excessively) that re-enforces that whatever was done was wrong. Spanking can go too far at times. I believe that if you are leaving more than a red rash on your child’s rear end then you might be taking it too far. I know when I was young I feared "The Belt" but since it was used only as a tool for reinforcing what I did was wrong and nothing else, it did not effect me later on in life. When I have children you better believe that spanking will be used when its needed simply for the fact that I believe it has a greater impact on a child’s future actions than anything else.
Ben Rogers
What purpose does physical punishment really serve? Does it serve the anger that the parent feels, does it stop a child from doing something again, does it make a child feel remorseful that he does something he's not supposed to do? I think what physical punishment does, is cause fear. Sure, fear may stop us from doing something again, because we fear the consequence of being hit. But does it TEACH us anything? Personally, I think it's a consequence used when the parent is either angry, or can't think of a more suitable punishment.
Stacie Carlson
From Barb Beals:
Spanking sends a clear message that says you do this and there are consequences. I think it's ok to leave a mark as long as it's not just out and out beating out of rage or anger, that's abuse. You should spank your kids, but not do it when you are angry. I believe that if you teach your kids at an early age they will be less likely to rebel against you, disrespect you by sneaking out, or worse..drugs when they get older. Parents should talk to their kids after a spanking to make sure that they understand why they are in trouble, and why the spanking occurred. After all it does hurt the parent to have to physically dicipline their kid, no matter what you may think. I have a son and when I have to smack his hand and tell him no it breaks my heart. I hate to do it, but it has taught him that the plug in is not a toy, and that throwing a tantrum will not get him what he wants. It's a lesson that all kids must learn and sitting your kid in a corner doesn't do a damn bit of good.
Man its not child abuse, i use to get whoppins! with a belt and a switch, and a cored. I was bad as hell, at the time i thought it was wrong. But when i looked back on the things i did, I desrved it. Starting fights with people in when I was in third grade, stilling from stores, stilling people bikes, potty mouth; all those things caused me to get whoppins. It was a punishment and a lesson to be learned. Its only abouse when a parent beats you into you bleed, or hits you with a closed fist whcih my paretns didnt do. it only abuse when the child needs to be rused to a hospital, and has permitant scares and bruses. giving your child a spnking is cool if they are bad and dont listen, but hitting your child like he or she is grown is abuse. when I looke back on my spakings me and my family laugh on it, becsue i did some silly shit. A Spanking is not abuse, its discpline being tought.
Fabion Harris
I would never agree with spanking, or hitting kids in any way. But I also don't think it is child abuse, well depending on the extent of the spank. I think parents take it way too far when they start using belts, or any other object. They also take it too far, when they decide to spank their kids in public. I would never spank my kids when I have them. Communication is key here. Just talking to your kids, and using other forms of punishment (like grounding, or taking their favorite toy away from them for a couple hours). I think these forms of punishment are a lot more useful, and get you a lot farther than you would spanking your children.
Caitlin Parker
I think that parents should discipline their children however they see fit. I was spanked, and I will more than likely spank my kids. some children dont respond to timeouts or verbal discipline, so you have to take it to the next step. obviously it's not necessary to spank your child until you leave a mark-thats just abuse- but your children need to know who's in charge and I know that I kept my ass in line as a child so I wouldnt be spanked.
Ashlee Meredith
Post a Comment