Why are teens so out of control (with drug use, alcohol abuse, violence) this day and age? How should parents gain control of their teens? When is it too late to intervene in a teen's life? Do you think teens being out of control is a problem in our society? In our community? What examples have you seen or heard of? In general, what do you think can or should be done to deal with out-of-control teens?If you think it's mainly a parental responsibility to monitor their teenagers and step into their lives as necessary, consider how difficult it is to do this for many parents (especially in single-parent households). Think of your own life as a teenager--isn't it easy for you to hide things from your parents? What could your parents do help you stay in control and not get into trouble that will haunt for you a lifetime?
Thanks for your input!
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21 comments:
Unfortunately, society is to be blamed for why teens are out of control. Teens model the examples set by their parents, their family, and their peers. This is a very complicated question and issue. As a mom, I can only set a good example for my daughters and talk to them ALOT. I tell them about the bad choices I made and the consequences that came with those choices. But, unfortunately they have a lot of negative influences around them as well. They have an alcoholic dad. They have alcoholic neighbors who party with their teens and other teens at their house. They have friends whose parents drink and/or use drugs. They have friends who are making bad choices. The opportunities are so readily available. That is why, as a parent I try really hard to provide positive opportunities and activities that consume my girl's lives, in hopes they will not need to resort to the negative activities. I am constantly amazed at adults who "are out partying" every weekend and at the same time complaining about their "out of control" parents! If a kid does not feel safe to express theirselves, their ideas, thoughts, worries, fears, hopes, and dreams in positive ways within their home...they will find alternative ways. It is sad, that there are so many homes where teenages feel like their parents aren't there and don't understand -It is sad that neighbors and communities rarely work together to look out for the best interest of our teens. Teens are often seen as a problem by many adults. I wish the adults would remember that they were a teen once and remember what a difficult and changing time that can be in a person's life. An old African Proverb says, "It Takes a Village to Raise a Child"
Jan Baker left the 10:30 am blog
Another comment from Jan:
In addition to taking a neigborhood to raise a village...More Teen intervention programs are something that our society could really benefit from. It is amazing that the same people that spend thousands of dollars on vacations to Disney World often don't see the importance to investing money into the life of a struggling teen. Yes, professional intervention in a young person's life is Very expensive....but a statitics show that for ever $1 invested in intervention programs for a teen saves $7 spent on state programs for adults (welfare, jails, etc.)
America needs to invest in their teens!!
Teen are out of control for two reasons and that is they give them too much freedom and then they dont give them enough. When you hold a child in the house all the time and dont let them experience the world, when they get out there they want to try everything. they even want to try the stuff that is not good for them even though they know its wrong. for the ones that let their kids do anything cant control their kids anmore because the child has the thought in their head that they are grown and you cant tell them what to do. By this time it is too late to get them back in order.the only way to get them back on track is unfortunately when something bad happens to them. Sometimes the kid just needs the parents to spend time with them as often as possible.
Sorry but that last comment was from Edwidge P. I keep forgetting to put my name.
From Debra Porter:
In my experiences, I don't think that teens are that out of control. I've never done any kind of drugs, not even smoked a ciggarette, and I didnt even have my first drink until I was 18. I think that no matter how much or how little control the parents have on their children, it will still be up to the children to make their decisions about what they will do with their lives. And their decisions probably come from examples the parents have set. I think it is never too late to intervene in a teen's life. And I don't think it is a problem in society, because I have never been out of control. Ive always been somewhat of a loner and have never had that many friends, so I dont really know what goes on with the popular crowds in teens in school these days. I think that when teens are out of control it is their own fault, the parents could have set better examples when they were growing up. Or the teens know what they can do to be good, but they just don't care. They may just want the attention, and thats why they are out of control. It is easy to hide things from my mom, but I don't. We have always had a good relationship, and we've always been able to talk about things. She has set a really good example for me when I was growing up, and I made good decisions based on her examples she set.
I personally don't feel like teens are out of control these days. We're not doing anything different that has been done for generations. People have gone out and have gotten drunk since the days Jesus was walking among us. As for drug use the use of drugs amongst teens has actually gone down since the hippy era and continues towards that way. I don't really understand where your getting this out of control thing for teens. If there are teenagers who are out of control then it might be as a result of poor parenting or a lack of leadership and moral in the persons life. To say though that teenagers generally are out of control I think is not true!
Dan Berger
Teenagers will always try to get away with just a little more than the moral standards of society overall. And in our society, moral standards are getting more and more lax. Teenagers are in a stage of life where they are starting to see the desire of adult activities and drugs and alcohol, and other things of that nature, but sometimes lack the responsibility to see the consequenses of those choices, and also may lack the ability to control them. I grew up in a christian home and though i may not have always liked it, now i'm thankful my parents provided me with an example of the rewards of being responsible and learning how to control yourself, not that anyone is perfect.
-Blake
I realize that i am young in life and havent really experienced the "real world" yet, but for all the time that I have been around, i have made a few observations.
Out of control is a good way to describe the children of this day and age. I am naturally disgusted with the disrespect that the children show towards adults. I work at a summer camp, and the counselors are not much older than the campers, but there is no reason for the way they treat us.
The parents are the ones who are ultimately responsible for the way thier child acts. If a parent allows thier child to talk back to them and treat them like the dirt under thier shoe, then that child will think it is acceptable to treat any adult like that. Thats one reason no one wants to be a junior high or high school teacher, is because of the disrespect issue.
Bridgette Overmyer
Out of control teens seems to be a problem directly assosiated with their peer groups. Parents of teenagers in this country have little to no involvement in their lives between the hours of 8am-6pm everydday. That leaves the hours of 6pm-midnight for a parent to realistically spend time and influce their child. There are 8 hours every day when a teenager is directly influenced by hundreds of peers and their opinions at school and at work. There is also something to be said about the value placed on opinions. When your best friend tells you how they feel about your decisions, it matters, when your parents mention it, its often blown off.
Parents should maintain an active role in their teenagers lives, that is all that can be done. If childhood has raised the teen to be a decent person, then during the end of their formative years, merely give the teen support, and advice, but never tell them what to do. Let them know what you know from experience, but also understand as a parent that times have changed since you were a teen. Keep up.
I have raised 3 teens, and, of course, I was one. One thing I can say from personal experience is being heavy-handed, authoritarian, punitive and insensitive only makes a kid behave in your presence. As soon as that kid is away from his/her heavy-handed parent, he will do whatever it is that he wants to do. Fear is not a good teacher in the long-term. It only causes rebellion. Everyone says "You can't be a best friend to your kid." Why not? I have been and my kids have told me every single thing they've done -- good, bad, or indifferent. I'd rather have them ask me something, and feel comfortable to do so, than to sneak around behind my back trying to find their own answer because they were afraid to ask me. I'd rather have them come to me to discuss something, and find out the pros and cons from an adult, than have to rely on their immature friends for rational answers. I was aware of everything my kids did as they grew up, because they told me. They knew they could tell me, and I wouldn't stop loving them. They also respected me, and I think that stopped them from doing some of the bad things that some kids do now days. I believe that you should set limits for your kids, but a short explanation of why you have set these limits, goes a long way. When my kids did get in trouble, I explained to them that it was their behavior, not them personally, that I was disappointed in. I explained to them why what they did was wrong. We actually TALKED to each other -- you know, a two-way conversation. I also LISTENED. My kids weren't angels, but they weren't hellions either. They got into a little mischief, but no big trouble. And all their friends felt comfortable coming over to our house, and talking to me, too. It really helps to be a friend to your kid's friends, too. This way, you know what's going on. Kids love to talk. If you only listen, they'll usually tell you just about anything you want to know, and then some! You have to be a good support person for your kids. If you don't, they will find support somewhere else!
Stacie Carlson
ITs a whole bunch of things that go on in the world that can be blamed on teens behavior. It could be from bad paretning, not having a mother or father figure in your life at all. It can be blamed of violent tlevison shoes, or big motion picture violent fims. You can blame teen sucidal behavior on rock music, one person being merlin manson. You Can balme a teens gansta behavior on rap music or bad family members and friends. YOu can blame a gilrs wild ways on abusvie father, trashey mom that doesnt care. When it comes to violent behaivro you can blame it on video games, and violent catoons. So the way teens act today can invole a little something of eveything that goes on in the world, its just hard to narrow it don to one thing
FABION HARRIS
I am still a teen, so I know how this is. I see it everyday while looking around at my peers. You have the people that get drunk every night, and the ones that try to get their hands on drugs everytime they have an extra $20. I believe teens don't really have a sense of reality and life yet, and they think they can do whatever they want and none of it will really effect them. It is getting harder and harder for parents to control their kids these days. I believe parents needs to gain control at a young age to be able to keep control throughout their childs teens. When teens start having problems and a parent doesn't already have control, it's almost too late to control them at this point. When it gets to this point, parents need to seek help through some external agency such as law enforcement or counseling. If a parent does not seek help for their child, it may cost the child it's life in the ending. It is very easy to hide things from my parents, but I've learned it's better not to. The best things for parents to do for their child is to make their life "miserable". As in miserable, I mean keeping them from doing what they want to do, and make sure they are doing the right things in life.
Jeremy Lamb
From Barb Beals:
I think that teens are so out of control these days because there was a lack of dicipline in their homes as kids. Teachers in public schools get spit on, cussed out, and sometimes even slapped. My step-mom taught in Indianapolis Public School system for 35 years and I could curl everyone's hair if I told the stories she's told me. There are laws that prevent even spanking your child they call that abuse. I think that a swift swat on the ass will remind you not to do it again. I'm no teen, when I was my parents were so strict it was almost rediculous. I think that it should be legal to spank your kids, I mean after all it's ok to abort them, why is spanking so bad? We should teach our children how they should behave, some kids learn differently. Some children are so soft hearted that a stern talk will make them understand; however there are some kids that are stubborn that just let it go through one ear and out the other. Spare the rod spoil the child? Too many parents lose control of their kids at an early age and just let them run ruff shot over them. I say to the parent TAKE CONTROL now before you get a call from the county jail. Let your kids learn that there are consequences that they WILL have to face if they don't learn to respect and obey now.
I dont really think teens are out of control that much. Yes, some drink and do drugs, but i think that is part of being a teenager and getting older and wanting to try things to make yourself look cool. I think parents should try talking to them ar first and if that doesnt work then they should try going to therapy or a councler I dont think teens being out of control are much of a problem around this area. Ive heard about teens getting in trouble for drinking and a lot of DUI's. I think those that are out of control should be sent away and learn how to behave and to have respect for themselves. I think parents play a big role in their kids lives. They should be able to teach their children right from wrong, that doesnt mean the kids will listen. I have never done drugs, or smoked anything. I drink, but its not all the time and we are responsible about it, i didnt drink hardly at all when i was in high school because i was in sports and knew i couldnt get in trouble or cauht because i wouldnt be able to play. I think it is easy to hide things from my parents, i usually do, I dont like it, but they are strict and it seems like i have no freedom to do anything. I think parents should talk to their kids and find out where they are at and who they will be with when they go out. I think it is a good idea to have good communication skills with your parents, it will help you in the long run as well.
From Stephanie Einck
Teens today are out of control, they are too free to do whatever they want, and they are aloud to do whatever they want. I think parents should not allow their children to go out everynight after getting their homework done to hang out with friends. Allowing them to do so, is opening up the chances to drugs and alcohol. Teens have taken getting drunk and high too far. All you hear is how a teenager got into a car accident and had lost their life. They were under the influence of something. Teens don't understand the consequences of being under the influences and driving.
Sonja
I think our tenager is out of control, because they see what the parent or parents do. We as parent we have mindful of how we caring our self. Teenager they are curious
about everything they are ready to into our adult world. Another thing that B.E.T. our tenager pick up alot of thing by watching those videos. Thats all they show on there drinking, drugs, alcohol, and party. So now our teenager think that what happen not education or any thing positive.
I have a seventeen old trust i don't have that problem because i teach him and show him he can have a happy clean life and fun to without getting invoved with all that mess. So if we show our teenager the correct way they wouldn't be doing that.
Thank you very much
Catina Moore
Teens are so out of control for a number of reasons. Peer pressure, wanting to be "cool," family life, etc. Parents should spend quality time with their children, and if the situation is advanced, maybe seek professional help. It is a problem in our society, think of all the teen deaths due to drunk driving, or death of innocent people due to being a victim of the accident. I wouldn't say I was completely an out of control teen, but I did have my phase. I drank, more than I should have,went to parties a lot, and got in trouble at school. Thankfully this only lasted throughout my sophmore year in hs. My parents took control of the situation, they thought it was their fault, which it wasnt't. I felt so bad for putting my parents through something like that, they were there for me, and sat down with me and had a long talk. This really turned me around. I realized how much I was taking for granted, and thought I didn't deserve to have parents like them. It was easy to hide things from them, but it was hard at the same time. Guilt set in, and I couldn't hide it any longer. I couldn't stand lying to the people that cared about me the most. Anyway, I don't think it is ever too late to intervene, I have seen stories on oprah where a teen would be homeless, sold their bodies for drug money, and yet still got turned around. It just takes hard work, and motivation.
Caitlin Parker
Teens are out of controll today for several reasons, but I think the heart of it lies parents not disiplining and preaching good values to their kids.
I was taught right from wrong, and when I did wrong I was reminded very well what I did was wrong. I think the lack of disipline at an early age, leads to behavior problems up through the teen years.
Reguardless of how much time a parent spends with their kid or how much they keep up on what their child is doing or who they're hanging out with, if they dont preach and teach good decidion making at a young age, it will only get worse as time goes on. Not saying that once you go bad theres no hope, plenty of people turn their lives around, bud sadly its often after some sort of bad experence. My parents taugh me at a young age how to make good decidons and how to look at the bigger picture instead of just what was in front of me at the time, and I never really had the desire to be wild and out of controll. I had plenty of friends who did the wrongs things even when I was with them but that desire never jumped to me and I believe it stemmed from being taught at a young age and having that re-enforced throughout the years growing up.
Ben Rogers
Teens are so out of control these days do to their parents. If there parents would just talk to thme about drinking forinstance and sit down and have a beer with them, i dont think they would go out of control. My dad was that way to me he knows its illegal but he also knews that if he just blew it off and pretended like it doesnt happen, i wouldnt be able to control it. Because of him i know how to control my drinking as a college student. Just about every weekend i see someone who just cant do it. They get so messed up they dont know where they are and they cant even walk. To me that isnt any fun. Most of the time they dont even remember the night before when they wake up. Parents should talk to there kids about it and let them know that they know they can stop them from doing it and just tell them how to handle it.
i believe teens today are out of control because of the media. there are things on television that should not be shown. another reason are parents. parents should teach their kids to not disrespect others. they also needs to keep theri eye on their kids, who to hangout with, where do they go, and what they do. because there are people out there who are trying to sell drugs to survive. there are more and more kids to day who are becoming drug abuse becasue of their parents. teenagers are having kids at an early age and its affecting the society. there are more kids out on the street because their parents are out there too. therefore, they do not have other chance but to go out there and try to find something to eat.
cristobal
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