Why are there so many Divorces today? Do you think divorce is a problem in our society? If so, in what way?
When is a divorce a good idea? Right now in this country it is easier for many couples to get maried than it is for them to get divorced. Is this backwards, you think, or the way it should be?
Any other thoughts you have on divorce would be greatly appreciated. If you're willing to tell me about your own personal experience with divorce, I'd appreciate that too.
Thank you.
Caleb Prosser
12 comments:
I think that there are more divorces today than ever before because people, women especially, have the option of getting out of a relationship if it's not working out the way they had hoped. Also, I think there are more divorces because women are becoming more independant then they had ever been before. I do think that divorce is becoming a problem in the U.S., but I also think that there isn't a whole lot that can be done about it. People are not expected to marry one person and make it work no matter what anymore, so if a relationship goes downhill after the marriage then there seems to be an "easy way out" for the couple. I honestly think that it is easy to both get married, and get divorced. I think that people should be required to be dating a certain time before they get married. There are a lot of marriages that people rush into only to find that they don't want to be with the person they married for a lifetime. I think that a lot of people get married, and then have kids, and expect the marriage to be the same as before the kids were born. After a child is born though, it just makes that relationship even harder. So some couples find that it is easier to divorce than to make their kids see their parents arguing consantly. While the parents are going through the divorce however, they aren't thinking about how difficult it will be on their children to see their dad dating another woman. They don't think of how difficult it will be for the child to have 4 parents if both parents get remarried. This happend to me. My parents divorced before I was 2 years old and now both are remarried, and I hardly see my dad anymore because I can't stand the woman that he was remarried to. I just think that before people get married they have to make sure that they can handle the responsibility of raising their children, and still making their marriage work the way it should. Marriage should be a happy, equal, long lasting, and honest relationship that two people have together. Not a one-night-stand that led to a pregnancy and eventually a marriage.
Cory Schlensker
Back in the late 1800's and the early 1900's, it was considered a great sin to ever think about getting a divorce from your partner. Now however, it seems that marriage means nothing to some people. Teenage pregnancy is a large reason for young people getting married, and later divorced. They find it only fitting to get married because they are having a child--not considering the effect this might later have on their own lives as well as their child's. A lot of people seem to get married for all the wrong reasons today: money, whirlwind romance, etc. They don't take the time to consider how much responsibility it is to be married. Also, cheating on your significant other seems to be more accepted now than it used to be in our grandparents' days. This is another big cause of divorce. People just can't seem to keep thier hands off what doesn't belong to them. It is way too easy to get married now, which is why so many people think it's a good idea--until the divorce. Money, custody, property: not many people think about these things before they dive into such a big commitment. For the people who tried very hard to make thier relationship work (as long as it was not an unsafe environment) for their children as long as they could handle, but still ended up divorcing: I comment them. At least they tried. My parents were divorced about five or six years ago, but they should have never been married in the first place, and the split was best for all of us. There should be more in-depth rules forcing people to really sit down and think before they make such a big decision.
Emily Bown
In our society today divorce is very much excepted. Before divorce was concidered a sin to do. Not very many people were getting divorces. I think it has come a big problem in our society today. I think people look at it as an easy way out sort of speak. I think there should be certian requirements that you have to do before you can file for divorce, because i believe many people just file for divorce because their just tyred of their same old lifestyle and stuff. Also some people these days are getting divorced and then they end up getting married again. Thats just crazy im sure they could have went to counicling or something and worked things out before they got a divorce. But they saw the easy way out and took it. I don't really have a personal experience on divorce but from hearing close friends go through it, i just think their should be requirements before you can file for divorce.
Jenna Kirts
I believe that the reason why there is so many divorces is that when couples get married they really don't know each other and they just rush right into marriage without thinking about it. A divorce is a good idea when a spuse is cheating on another spose and if the marriage is in trouble. Right now I think it's easier for a couple to ger a divorce than to get marries. I believe that also the divorce process needs to be a little bit more stricter and not as easy to have.
Brian Siscoe
I think that there are so many divorces today because it seems like prople are rushing into marraiges more. i do think that the divorce rate is a problem in our society today. But I think that marriage should be thought about more befor jumping into it. Especially when children are to consider. I know people who have gotten married, had kids, and then realized they had totally different views on raising the kids and got a divorce. Now the kids have two sets of parents, and totally different rules at each one's house. That is just confusing the children more. I also think that one reason divorce may be more common today is because women are more powerful and independent then before. In the past if a women was in a relationship that was maybe abusive in any way, she might have felt like she didn't have a choice but to stay because she didn't have any money or a job to take care of herself. Today this woman may feel she can leave becuase she has no problem taking care of herself. Also, since divorce is so common, a couple might not try as hard to make it work than they would have in the past. For instance a couple that has three kids who are gradeschool age or so may be having problems with finding time to spend together, which may cause them to grow apart. This couple may jsut give up when if they would have worked at it, they could have made it work, especially as the kids got older and they had more time to concentrate on eachother.
Katie Moore
Divorces are caused by about anything and everything. It could be a number of things. For example a person that lies all the time and not telling the truth. Or alcohol abuse is another one. Drugs is another one. The list goes on. I don't know if it is. If a person is only getting a divorce just to get half the other person's stuff, that's a problem.
Divorces are sometimes good. It is better to tell the truth to the kids if there are any and tell them whats going on, if their older
if their younger I don't think that it is nesscary to tell them in detail on whats going on but they should know oneway or another.
Simon Auth
There are probably a lot more divorces now, than there were earlier because it is much easier now to get a divorce. People feel they can just get out of a marriage very easily now, and it is not that big of a deal to anyone anymore. Divorce is a big issue in our society today, and many people think that it is not. Many people divorce because they start living together before marriage, or they just get married too young. Divorce is a big issue in our society that needs to be slowed down because it is affecting many peoples lives in negative ways. Although the divorce for the people might be a good thing, for their children and other family this could be a difficult situation.
Meghan Lehr
Divorce is out of control and this is a derect reflection on the amount of people getting married and not sticking with it. Marrige does not seem to be as much of a comitment that it use to be because it is so easy to get out of, and common too. Though my parents got divorced and are happier now that does not mean it is ok, they should never got married to begain with. There are situations that divorce is a good choice but alot of the time it was a bad choice to get married to begain with. I know I will look apon marriage as a life commentment, so I may never marry we'll see
Jason Gordon
I think divorce is a big problem in our society. The last stat I heard was close to, if not, a 50% divorce rate. I come from divorced parents that should've have never married to begin with. My mother remarried when I was younger and has been married to that same man for 23 years. My father has been married and remarried 6 times! He has been married to the same woman for 20 years. My father is a man who cannot live alone. I know that's why he rushed to get married so many times. He couldn't take care of himself and needed someone to do everything for him. On my husband's side of the family almost every single person in this generation and the last generation has been divorced. I don't know why most of them got divorced. I think a lot of people rush to get married without really getting to know each other. I think the only way you can really get to know someone is to live together for a while first. Live together and figure out each other's habits. This will also allow you to get more personal with each other; talk to each other; figure out what each person wants out of life. I think people get divorced too easily. Rather than try to work it out they rush to get divorced. I think people should seek counseling in one form or another: seek a marriage counselor or a pastor. I do think there are times when divorce is the only option: physical or mental abuse comes to mind. When both people mutually agree that there's just no way they can continue to stay married to each other then I suppose divorce is the only answer.
Angie
Divorce rates have stabilized at about 50% over the last decade, I think, after rising steadily for a decade or two before that. I think the rate has stabilized because many young couples aren't bothering to get married before they live together and start a family. If as many people were getting married as there used to be, I think divorce rates would have continued to climb.
Why did they climb so much in the 70s and 80s? Several reasons, but one of the biggest ones was the feminist movement. Once women started working outside the house and could sustain themselves, they didn't have to stay with their husbands anymore if they didn't want to.
Another reason divorce rates are so high is the deterioration of the sanctity of marriage. Marriage just ain't what it used to be for a lot of people; they no longer see it as a sanctity before God. Rather, they see it as an artificial human construct that has no hold over them.
Another reason more people divorce now is that there's no longer any stigma attached to divorce. In my son's 3rd grade class, 14 out of 22 students had divorced parents. Now that divorce is generally accepted in our culture, people don't hesitate to leave what they feel is a stagnant marriage, or worse.
I'm fine with the divorce rate and see it as more a positive than a negative. I don't want people staying together who aren't happy together. Obviously, if there are kids involved, parents should think of them first and make sure they do things in exactly the right way to ensure their children that they are still loved by both parents and always will be.
Your other question . . . It's true that anyone of legal age can marry, but once you have kids you can't divorce without a hassle, and often expensive legal fees. I don't want to make changes that deny people their freedom to marry who they want, but I do wish more people would wait on getting married until they at least know who they are themselves. Many people get married very young, and then of course they usually end up divorced.
My first marriage ended in divorce, and my ex-wife and I are on pretty good terms now as we raise our four children together. If we had stayed married, we wouldn't have been happy together, and that happens with some frequency to couples, I think. We change over time, and sometimes the people we grow into aren't compatible with the people their spouses have grown into. What are you going to do then? Pretend you're not who you are? Ask your spouse not to be who she is? Neither of these is acceptable, and they aren't necessary anymore in our society, so why not do what you have to do to be happy?
Jason Horath
There are many different reasons as to why divorces occur, but the root to all of those reasons is the fact that we live in an image-driven society where ones own self is the main driving factor in anyones life. People (in general) are more concerned with what they look like, how much money they have, and what kind of possessions they own, which also causes them to have a blind eye to many of the problems throughout the world today. To get back to why that is the root of the reasons of divorce, with that type of mindset people become more selfish and within that selfishness it is hard to have any concerns for others and when problems arise in a marrige, it is that lack of concern for others that ultimately lead up to a divorce.
Pat Mahoney
I believe that divorce has become an epedmic drain on our moral society. The reasons are many but for the majority, the meaning of marrige has become a completely constrewed subject with many not understanding its full impact. Marrige no longer means "till death do we part", it means "till the first fight thats not easy to resolve" or "till things get tough". I would think alot of these changes happened from multiple breakoffs of faith, the lack or marrige in religion, or that somehow societies opinion has changed from views of others. I believe its a major problem that divorce has become so whimsical and common. After a while it just becomes a bandwagon tactic whether it is ment to be or not. On the same token society has taken marrige and divorce away from religion and placed it to the state to do whats right. The state of all places, is filled with "corrupt judges" and "dirty politicans". There is no way they can be trusted with such a strong commitment that they rreally have no part in. Divorce would only becorrect when there is irreconcilable diffrences or maybe in cases of bigimy, which anycase should have been figured out before marrige is undergone. At this point I don't believe theres any way to regain the importance of marrige except to lead by example.
My personal experience came down to my father leaving my family when i was in fith grade. We latter found out that he was married to two women at once and that I have a half sister I've never met and that he owes the other family eighteen years of back child support. When he left I had this hole inside that continued to grow as I developed into a young teen with no father or even a male influence in my life. In so many cases this would result in identities being constrewed for a young adolecent. I myself pushed myself to not be him and looked toward my friends of the same age for direction in development. Hopefully this epidemic will not enlarge any further into a social norm. People need to be positive they can commit to such a strong item before Saying that they can commit to such a lifestyle change.
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