Why do so many males, young and old, desert their families? What influences do they run into? Do you consider family desertion to be a problem in our society? Have you or anyone you know of been given an explanation? Any ideas for what we could do about this problem?
Thank You ... Imani Hudson,
Afternoon Class
14 comments:
I think the last comments might belong to another question . . . interesting comments, though . . . as for the fathers deserting their families question, I think that in some subcultures of our society this situation is becoming more common just because it's becoming more common--that is, the more people see it happen, the more they think it's okay for it to happen, and so then they see it as a possibility for them, too. The same thing happened in the 70s with divorce. The divorce rate skyrocketed once people saw how acceptable it was in society. As family desertion becomes more acceptable within our society, or within some subcultures of our society, we'll see more of it. I know this helps to cause the breakdown of the typical family we've grown used to, but I think that over time we're just going to have to accept that more and more people are going to start behaving in ways that make the old idea of "family" less and less common. I'm sorry about that, but I hope some good comes of it, too.
Jason Horath
I truely believe males who desert their families are not ready to grow up and take responsibility for their actions. I have had this problem with my daughters father and he calls maybe once a month, but does not send any support.The only thing I can think of that might help is the way they are brought up. If a mother raises her son to take responsibility for all his actions just maybe he will take it into his adulthood.
When i had my daughter about five years ago i was not with her father we had stop seeing each other before she was born. So for her not to have a father figure around will be hard for her. But as long as i am there to support her and care for her she doesn't need a father figure because i am both. I think in society it is a really big problem because alot of kids dont have father figures in there lives. I think that these worthless fathers who are not being fathers to there children should step up to the plate and be there for there kids.
I think that the younger males desert their families because they are raised and are under peer pressure to have sex at earlier ages. Their partner gets pregnant and then they run scared not knowing what to do. The older males don't think they are ready for a family yet and want to live out their youthfulness. If they get married for the sake of the baby then after the baby is born they decide that they don't really love the mother and leave thus leaving the family. Having younger women wanting to date them is a big influence in todays society. Another influence is what they call "mid-life crisis" where they want to leave and "find themselves". I think family desertion is a growing problem in todays society. Too many men get with a woman thinking that she is "the one" and then after a baby is concieved and they have lived together for a longer period of time they want to leave. Then fall "in love" with another woman and the same cycle continues. I'm not sure what could be done about this problem except to try and teach from a younger age that family is more of a sacred entity than we are seeing it to be.
nancy byard
From PHIL GOULD:
I think that men are wired in such a way that if they are up against some challenge that they can't handle--they run the other way! It's an old defense mechanism. But i also don't believe that there is room for that anymore. Our problems have long since moved on from fighting lions and sabre-toothed tigers--if you catch my drift. ANY problem, anymore, can be solved. if you are in too deep, there are people who can help.
i think that the pressure of trying to support a family and be home for them at the same time has most men confused! That is why they run--they are unable to stand up to all of these feelings that they can't understand!
I think that its just apart of a males make up, because even in the animale kingdom the males are always off to them selves.
No, I don't because some families actually end up better of with out the original man of the house bein their.
Yes, My mother told me that my dad was a whore, he wasn't a bad man he was just a whore.
I really doin't see a way that you chould change this.
Gary A. Lawson
I think the reason why so many males desert their families is due to freedom. It can take males up to the age of thirty to mature. They feel strapped down when they have a family. They can resent their family. They may feel they can't do anything fun that they want to, their paycheck is all gone before they even get it, and lets face it, taking care of a family is hard work. I have no idea why anyone could desert their family but I have known a few men that have. When asked the question on why, they usually answer, "I don't know why, but I love my kids", or "I didn't want her to get any of my money, but I love my kids." Maybe to help this problem in the future, we as parents, can stress to our sons to be responsible and face the consequences of their actions.
Robbin R.
I think that males desert their families because they are not ready or don't want to take responsibility. I do believe that family desertion is a big problem in our society. I believe that daughters and sons need a father figure in their life. I am lucky enough to have always had a father in my life, but now I am worried about my son's father because we are just not making it. I want for my son to have a relationship with
his dad without all the drama because I want him to have a father figure in his life, but I will also settle for my father to be his role model too, or maybe even find a mentor for him to talk to and spend time with him.
April Steele
Well back in my teenage days it was hard for me to cope with life. I lost my father to cancer and nine months later I lost one of my brothers to pneumonia. Being the oldest I really did not want to hear anything coming out of my mother's mouth. So their I rebelled against her and the system itself. I no a few people that was in the same boat but not exactly the same situation. Being a teenager is the worst part of your intire life because you don't understand alot of things even if you think you do, you don't. I don't foresee the problem geeting any better then or now. That's why we have so many kids today with fowl mouths.
Daryl Brown
I think males have a tendency to give up on relationships easier than females. It is to bad that they think they can run from problems. I don't believe desertion is a problem like it used to be. Now they can find you were ever you hid.
David S.
I think so many males jump into having kids to soon. They don't realize how hard it is to do the right thing and support a family, most aren't even educated enough to get a desent paying job.Most men just aren't ready for the commentment.
Tamika Newbern
I think that there are a lot of men that would never desert their family, and then there are plenty that would. I think that the ones that decide to leave is because they are very inmature and they like to make the babies but don't want any part in raiseing them. Yes family desertion is a big problelm in our society. I don't know how we can make men be responsible for their actions, and I think if they are any kind of man we shouldn't have to make them they would just do what is right and support their families.
WeTona Houtzel
Many young males are deserting their families because they are not ready for all the responsibilities that come with it. They do not feel as if they are financially secure or if they want to be with their baby's momma forever. They see it done by others around them and think they can get away with it but I really disagree. If they have a family, then they should stick with it. Kids do need to be raised by a mother and a father to actually feel like they are a part of a real family. I am not too sure why an older man would desert his family other than the reason that he is selfish. If he is leaving his family so he can have more money, or more time to himself, then he is just selfish and doesn't deserve to be loved by his family anyway. Desertion is mainly only a problem with the young teenagers who accidentally get pregnant and all of a sudden the dad is out of the relationship because he doesn't want to go through with it. I feel sorry for these women who thought their men would be good enough to stick with through a situation like that. It's not fair to the women because it is not like they can just leave the baby with the dad, because it is actually already stuck with the women.
Elizabeth Moody
I think this is an ongoing problem today. I have mixed feeling about this subject however, i think there are too many children born out of wedlock, and men sometimes feel they don't have to stay and try to work things out since they are not married to the mother. I think people need to slow down and think things through before taking action. I know this won't happen but if it did we would see less broken homes today.
Beverly Burnside
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