How do you define domestic violence? How far is too far? Would you
stay with a person who abused you? Would you keep letting it happen?
Would you tell someone? Why do you think so many people stay with the
person who abuses them? Is domestic violence a big problem in our
country? Why or why not? If you think it is a big problem, do you have
any idea what can be done about it?Kallie (Noon)
27 comments:
In my opinion domestic violence is when you are physically, mentally, or verbally abusing your wife//husband/ and or children. Any of these categories are too far because there's no excuse for it whatsoever.
I would not stay with someone who abused me because I have seen domestic violence in every category first hand. If it did happen the first time would be the last I would defend myself and let the police take care of it.
I think a lot of people stay with who they are being abused by because they are scared of what will happen to them especially if their abuser uses threats against them, or they want to pretend that they have a perfect family and they're willing to do what it takes to have that family. I think it is a big issue and that it always has been...people are looking for a way to control their partner and if you are in love a lot of times you are blinded and don't realize that person doesn’t love you. I think more people need to speak up, come forward and tell the police about being abused. The first time not the second or third the very first time it happens.
Kristina
To me domestic violence is physical, sexually, emotional, mentally and verbally. When you are physical putting your hands on your partner that's abuse. When your name calling and bashing your partner that's abuse. Making your partner feel less of a person that is abuse. Trying to make your partner have sex with you when they don't want to is abuse. All of the above is taking it too far. No I would not stay with a person who abuses me. No I wouldn't keep letting it happen to me because I would be gone after the first time. Yes I would tell someone if I was being abused, why keep my mouth shut. I think some people stay with the person who abuses them because they feel they can't get out of the relationship. Yes domestic violence is a big problem in our country. Because lots of women and children are being abused every day and it's sad. I don't really have an idea all I can stay is leave.
Shantel
I think domestic violence is when you are mentally or physically hurting your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, or children or any relationship. It usually happens to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. There is absolutely no excuse for domestic violence.
There is no way I would ever stay with someone who abused me. Mainly because it is wrong and dangerous and no one deserves to be treated like that. I have seen domestic abuse and people let it go on and on. But , if it happened to be it would be the last because I would get out as fast as I could and immediately tell a friend or family member and see what I would need to do.
I think a lot of people stay with who they are being abused with because they are scared of what will happen to them or their family if there is kids involved and they want a perfect family. Also, most of them will threaten them if they leave or tell anyone. I think more people need to go to the police after the first time not after multiple times of it happening. If not It could be to late. Many people like to not believe what is really happening to them and don’t think it is wrong. When they deserve better. I think domestic violence is a big issue and always has been but is getting worse today.
Allyson
To me domestic violence is when one person abuses another whether it is mentally, verbally, physically, or sexually. If there was a person doing that to me...I would definitely try to let the authorities know. I would also try to leave them as soon as possible.
I say "try" and "as soon as possible" because sometimes the one being abused feels threatened or scared if they try to get help. They just don't know what will happen if they do that and that's understandable. That's one of the reasons that domestic violence/abuse is so hard to tell as being a problem, i think. People are afraid to go about telling the authorities about problem unless they have someone who can do it for them. Even then i would understand that they would be hesitant because they would be afraid of telling people their problems for fear of the abuser finding out.
In the end the only thing that can be done about a problem like this is to let children know that they should respect each other, then through that the parents need to set a good example of how to treat people too. I think that through that they should also teach kids that if someone does hurt them tell someone, and let them know that people will try to help them. If they hopefully learn from this and use these skills then maybe there would be less abuse. It’s proven that children grow up to be like their parents. So parents need to learn that they need to set an example because men treat women like how their dads treat women and the same goes for girls, but they date people like their dad. It’s just that every detail a child sees can affect how they view the other gender or even their own gender, a lot of psychology goes into it all in the end.
Sam
I feel as though domestic violence is really anything that has to do with someone being physically touched or mentally abused. I think both strongly go hand in hand really. That and I'd say to far is when someone takes it in a negative way. If you do something that directly bothers someone or affects their mood that's automatically too far.
-kyle
I think that domestic violence is physical and mental abuse. The answer that most people would think you would say if you would stay with someone who is abusive would be no. however that is not always the case; some believe that they can live without that person. Some people even believe that things will get better or what if I never meet anyone else and I am along the rest of my life. These reasons a just a few of the many reason that people stay with someone who is abusive. I don’t really know if domestic violence is a problem in our society; the people that are domestically violent aren’t public about it. If you know that someone is being domestically abused you need to talk to them about it and be there for them. The only ones who can stop the domestic violence are the once that it is happening to, they need to go to the police and put an end to it.
Ryan
To me domestic violence is when one person abuses another whether it is mentally, verbally, physically, or sexually. There are many women and children beaten from a spouse or a boyfriend or just even a friend. How far is too far? Well I think that just even being abused is to far. No one should have to go through this is their life. I would not stay with anyone that abused me because I am not going to risk myself over someone that want to beat on me all the time. I would not let it keep happening because is someone did this to me then I would go to the police about it. There are a lot of people that stay with the person that abused them because they are to scared to get out or there is just no were they can go to. Domestic Violence is a huge problem in our country, what needs to be done with this is the people that are the ones that are doing in should be put in jail for it.
Cheyenne(9:00)
I agree with Kristina on my opinion of domestic violence. It is always to far when you start out with yelling or talking that will upset you. Everyone gets into arguments which is kind of like domestic abuse but if your actually getting hit and beat up then yea its definitely time to get out of there. I think people stay with that person because they love them so much that they still want to be with them no matter if they beat them or not. others are probably scared to leave so they don't and they stay with that person or even if a child is involved you might not want to leave. There's not a lot i can't think of that really could help the person in the abusive relationship needs to step up and leave or change the relationship for the better.
Alexis
I do think domestic violence is a very big problem, i dont think we hear about all the abuse that goes on. There are so many types of abuse. There is mental, physical, and a type of controlling abuse. I think a person stays with the abuser because they are conditioned just like a molester conditions a victim, a abuser does this as well. It starts with mental and often ends up physical. Lots of time there are children involved, and the victim feels so over whelmed, and do sent know how to get free. I think education is one way to stop abuse. Teaching children, men, and women how to see the early warning signs, and what to do, and where to get help. Did it, have the scars and t-shirt unfortunately to prove it.
anonymous
I really like this article because it ties in with the many of the narratives john has read for us. i think the real fact people stay in an abusive relationship is because they are scared they are not going to find someone else in their life. i know this fact for sure because i have seen it happen. its really sad because the person hat is getting abused knows about it and keeps on finding ways to keep it in a dark corner in his or her brain. love is a fucking stupid thing and anyone will do anything for it.
Xeromy Kaizad
Domestic violence , can be from a girl or a guy. it's when you are always getting beat on, or there can be verbal abuse in my eyes as well. I really couldn't tell you what too far is, but i've been pretty far with someone, where i almost lost my life and i thought the guy had changed. I stay around because i really thought he cared. i really thought he could change with help, because maybe that’s what he grew up around, and maybe that’s all he ever knew. he never knew different. and i do believe domestic is a problem. especially with verbal abuse. i believe people should see professional help, about their issues, whats went on in their life. and def not be in a relationship until they know they won't put their hands on someone else.
darcy
in my eyes domestic is when a man beats on any woman they associate with and if you beat person until theyre black and blue that is going way to far or if youre getting mad and beating a person giving them black eyes and permanent bruises tha is going way to far and NO i would never stay with anyone who is constantly abusing me verbally physically and mentally that brings low self-esteem and depression and if im in love with anybody i dont want to walk around scared of if they are going to get mad at something i say or something i do and beat me at any time thats not the way to be at all i would definitely have to go to the police and have it taken care of because thats just not the way to be i do think that most people stay with their abusers because of love or the thought that they might go after a family member to get to you or might even kill you and sometimes domestic violence does lead to death i refuse to stay with anyone who is constantly abusing me to were im scared that theyre going to kill me and these days domestic violence is a big problem because there arent enough people doing anything about it and these young girls are letting these boys and men treat them any way because they think they are in love and not speaking up for themselves!!!
-angel
i think domestic violence is when a person is abusing their wife , husband, and children for no reason just coming in the house drunk in just start beating on them because they are angry and mentally and verbally abusing them i wouldn't want no one abusing me i never seen no one in person get abused only on movies. but if i was to get abused i would protect myself in have the police take care of it people stay with the person the abuse them because ether there scared there do more then just beat them next time or they probably think there in love but if anyone is being abused they should tell the police the first time it happen.
Michael Cardine
To me domestic violence is physical, sexually, emotional, mentally and verbally. I think that abuse is any kind. When you call some one hateful names all the time, its abuse. If you slap or do something to someone just once, its abuse. You have to be able to be a strong person to leave an abusive relationship. You almost have to be stronger than the abuser to even be able to leave the relationship. I personally would not stay with the abusive person but you can't really judge what your going to unless you are in the situation. I don't know what I would tell someone in an absuvive relationship, but i would try to help them in any way and i would be there whenever they needed, but then again you can't really tell what your gonna do unless you are in the situation.
Emily
Domestic Violation Definition: the inflicting of physical injury by one family or household member on another; also: a repeated / habitual pattern of such behavior.
People who have never been abused often wonder why a person wouldn’t just leave. They don't understand that breaking up can be more complicated than it seems. They may be afraid of what will happen if they decide to leave the relationship. If they have been threatened by their partner, family or friends, they may not feel safe leaving.If your friend doesn’t know what a healthy relationship looks like, perhaps from growing up in an environment where abuse was common, they may not recognize that their relationship is unhealthy.It’s probably hard for your them to admit that they’ve been abused. They may feel they’ve done something wrong by becoming involved with an abusive partner. They may also worry that their friends and family will judge them.Your friend may stay in an abusive relationship hoping that their abuser will change. Think about it -- if a person you love tells you they’ll change, you want to believe them. They may only want the violence to stop, not for the relationship to end entirely.
Shane Rasor
I think domestic violence is when you are mentally,physically, or verbally abusing your partner or children. I think that just saying something very harsh to your partner or child is wrong and it can be very hurtful. I would never stay with someone who abused me because I would not put up with it and I would tell the police what was going on so people would know that person is potentially dangerous to other people. I think that sometimes people do not tell other people that they are a victim of domestic violence because they are scared and feel ashamed even though they have nothing to be ashamed about if they were the victim. Also, I think victims of domestic violence do not leave the person that were violent towards them because they think they love them when really they do not because a person that loves someone would not do that to their loved one. I think people should tell someone the first time it happens and leave them because they are likely to do it again.
Shelby Walker
I define it as anyone that is physically or mentally abusive toward another person. Anytime a person is not consider the other person feelings or wants. I did for seven years and in the end I won. It's not as easy as people try to make it seem. An abuser is a person who is very skillful and insecure. Some are attracted to people that have strong will and they find it a challenge to be able to manipulate a strong minded person, who lets their wall down and allows someone in their personal space. Many times the abuse does not start right away, it might not show up for months even years and then when the abuser can no longer hide their true personality, the monster shows up and knot the abused right off their feet. No I did not tell anyone because having this independent personality and also the fact of the natural shock of realizing that the person who you have fell in love with, is a liar, and has lied the whole time, because no one hurts who they love.
It takes time to regain what a person have mentally and physically beaten out of you. You have to cone up with a plan and sometimes it do take time, especially if there are children.
Domestic violence has been around for centuries, it is now coming out because of the courts taken it more seriously, but women had to died in order for the ball to begin to roll. I think that the reason some abuse go unrecorded is either the suspect has money and connections with the police department or because the victim has had the abuser arrested but drop the charges. Then there are the ones that make false reports of abuse.
I believe that it is a problem especially, now with the economy being as it is and the unemployment is still at a high number. It really depends on the abused, because the economy will never be completely get back to where everything is back to normal, so there just need to be more places for women to go when this happens and the abused need to understand that they did nothing wrong but love someone, now they need to love themselves and get away.
Linda H.
I define domestic violence as either a verbal or a physical conduct where someone is fearing for their life. I think it goes as far as beating someone, just hitting them, and just threatening them physical or sexual.
I wouldn't stay with a person who abused me but also I know it isn't easy as it seems. But I know I wouldn't let it keep happening because I wouldn't like to live my life in fear and be in a abusive relationship. I know I would tell my parents and hope that they would get me the help I need.
I think the reason why people still with the person that abuses them because they have no where else to go and it's not as easy to leave someone right on the spot. It could also be a money issue, by the victim not having money or enough money to go somewhere else.
Domestic violence is a big problem is our country because it leads to other serious crimes and leads to more violate crime. I think the only way you can fix a problem like this is by the police officer offering as much help as they can for the victim and help them get out of that way of life.
Kyle Ogle (Noon)
It is a huge problem in our country. Some men but mostly women and children are being abused at an alarming rate. I was married for 3 years to a man who beat me mercilessly on a regular basis for no reason. I never thought that would happen to me but it did. He did not begin this behavior until we were married and I was pregnant. I didn't want to throw our marriage away the first time it happened. The second time he knocked me out and it rearranged every fiber of my being. What I knew was right I was unsure of and what I knew was wrong I was know longer sure of. All my hope and joy left my body. I was ashamed and felt trapped and embarrassed. Someone finally intervened and he went to prison for a different charge but while he was there, I divorced him and slowly regained my joy and self esteem. It is very difficult to understand if it has not happened to you. Even my now 20 year old son who was 13 at the time still doesn't understand why I did not leave. I have tried to convey it here as best as I can. This is what I tell people as to why I didn't leave.
Angela Cole (10:00)
Domestics violence- one who is in a intimate relationship and is harming their significant other physically and mentally. HELL NO I will NOT stay with a person who feels the need to strike me and degrade me. Some people (in this case, women) have caught feelings for this person and is now attached. As the relationship goes on, the other person suddenly changes behavior and it sometimes it is really hard to just suddenly let go when you are still attatched and even love and care for this person. However, the best solution for this situation is to leave the relationship to discontinue being harmed. Domestic violence is not big problem in this country and it is not an issued that should be address before more important issues: hunger, homelessness, gun violence, cancer etc.
Janay D. (8:00)
Domestic is anytime an argument or any type of disagree gets violent. Any time when some one is yelling, slamming stuff, or physically fighting is way too far. I think a lot of times people stay with an abusive person either because they are scared to leave the person, or they are to blind to love for that person. Yes domestic is a serious issues to many kids witness their parent's fighting. And now to many teens are abusing one another in relationships, I'd say a high percentage of relationships are abusive ones. The only thing i think that can be done is to spread the awareness of the issue, and let people know they will be safe if they come out and expose an abusive relationship.
Ian 10:00
Domestic violence is when someone in your household is physically, emotionally, verbally abusing you. It also could be keeping you away from your friends or family, making you stay home and not get a job so no one questions you, or even sexual assault. If I was in a relationship with someone who abused me I would leave, but that's a lot easier said than done. When being with someone who abuses you there is a lot they will do to keep you from ever being able to leave or being able to get yourself hurt. I would never let it keep happening, I would find any way possible to get out and never come back. I would tell someone who i knew I could trust and wouldn't do anything to put themselves in danger or put me in anymore danger than already in.
I think some people stay with the ones who abuse them because they are scared to leave and may actually love someone no matter how much hell they put them through. I think in some places domestic violence is worse than in other places, but then again I dont really know. I have never been subject to this kind of relationship but have known people who got out of relationships/marriages like that. I think that more people should stand up for themselves and their families before someone takes it too far and someone was to die because you were too scared to fight back for your life.
Shelby F
i would define domestic violence as physicall contact or verbal argument between two lovers. i would say verbal is a form of domestic violence because if that couple has a child then they are influencing that child to holler and yell at women. too far is when there are punches thrown. i dont know because love is a very strong bond to break i would say it all depends on who you are. i would not let it keep happen due to the simple fact that i have self respect, and i believe young women these days should start having more respect for their self, cause then they problably wont choose to date someone who will eventually treat them like that. i think so many abuse victims stay because of love or some times because they are scared to leave. YES, and growing fast its like punching a girl is a trending topic now.
above comment by
Matt Eiland Noon
I personally think that domestic violence is uncalled for. There should never be an argument that you can not go over with just words. There should never be any physical or metal abuse involved. I would never stay with someone that would treat me like this. If you are in a "serious" relationship and your partner is abusing you, then the obviously do not love you. If someone ever hit me or mental abused me i would be done with them not matter what.
-Jonathon
To me domestic violence is when a spouse hits their partner and believes that what they are doing is correct. I think that when it comes to domestic violence, that should not be allowed. As for the question" how far is too far", my response is that it should have never happened in the first place not even once. If it were to happen once, that was when the spouse being abused should have left and made a demand against the abuser. I was to be in a situation like that, I would for no reason stay with someone like that. I would not even let my spouse ever put a hand on me and if my spouse where to do that I would leave and they could forget that I ever existed in their lives. I would tell my family and I would go to the police. I though, think that there are people who stay with the person that abuses them because for example, if a woman is being abused, they are so in love and they are blinded by that that they start to think that they are being abused because they deserve it. They start to get used to the fact of being hit because it I for their own good. I believe that domestic violence is a big problem in our country because of so much rage and anger that people have and that is the only way they see to take it away. Like for example, men think that women do everything wrong and that they should stay home and like they own a women if they have her as a girlfriend or wife and if they do something they do not like then the best way is to intimidate them so they hit them. I think that people should start learning how to stand for themselves and not let anyone treat them bad because there are women out there who are the domestic violence not only men. I think everyone needs to respect each other.
Angelita T. (8:00)
To me domestic violence is when a man or woman physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally abuses a partner or anyone in that matter. I believe that there is NO excuse what so ever for it ever to be taken as far as abusing. No matter how mad that person is, there are other ways to handle it. If I were ever in that situation I would not stay with that person, and I know myself that I deserve so much better than that. I just do not put up with that stuff. I would tell someone who I am really close with like my mom and then talk about it and go from there. I think a lot of people stay in an abusive relationship because they are scared and may have no where else to go, or be worried that something might even happen to their family. You let it happen once and let it go, it will just happen all over again until it can get killing someone, which kills me to even think about.
Brooke
In my personal opinion domestic violence is physical, sexually, emotional, mentally, and verbally by any family member or friends. Making someone feel less of a human is wrong. I personally have been all of the above and I think there needs to be a stop to it. I has a huge impact on the way you look at your self and the way you look at other. This has always been an issue, the people that is has happened to often don't speak up because they are afraid that its going to happen again, and some fear of death. I think that somehow it needs to be put to an end.
D
Domestic violence to me is any type of abuse in the home; physical, mental, verbal, anything. Any amount is too far. I would like to say that of course I would leave an abusive relationship, but you can never know what will happen or what you'll do unless in that situation. I know someone who was abused by their boyfriend; they had a child together and at first she wanted to get away and leave, but numerous times such as this one, he was manipulative and made her believe it wouldn't happen again. I think this is the case for sooo many domestic violence encounters. I think the victim is afraid, and why wouldn't you be? People say, "How could you stay with someone who did that to you?" but really, wouldn't you be afraid to leave too? Afraid they'd come find you and hurt you worse? I'm not saying at all, that that is a reason to stay, because I would never want that, but I just think unless in the situation, people don't realize just how difficult it really is. I think it is a big problem in our country but no one knows how big. I think we only hear about the major cases; rape, being beaten to you bleed and bruise, but I think many people are afraid or choose not to speak up about the more minor cases. I hate to say 'minor' cases because any case of it is a big deal. My opinion is that they think there's people worse off than themselves so they don't bring up what is happening to them.
Bryanna
Someone that uses violence in abusive or verbal ways. It is always to far if theirs hitting or verbal insulting always involved. Hell no, I would never stay with someone that hit me or grabbed on me. NO i would get out of that relationship as fast as i could. They think that their madly in love with them and they would not know to do with out them and their life. Yes, domestic violence is a big problem in our country. People are getting to obsessed and think that they own someone when they do not. People should not stay with the people that beat them that's how we can stop it.
Alexis H (noon)
domestic abuse is when a person is mentally, physically, or verbally abused. I have been a victim of domestic abuse and the one that affecgted me the mst was physical abuse. It's a scary thing to go through. I had never had a man hit me before the father of my first two children. I didnt understand how a man can allow a woman to make them THAT mad that he would put his hands on her. Luckily, he never went as far as punching me in the face or breaking any of my bones, but he did beat me with an extension cord and left bruises on my body. THAT was my final straw. I up and left with my kids without him knowing. I think i stayed (and the reason many other people stay with those who abuse them) is that they love that person and they are simply afraid of them. We had not one, but two children together, and that made it a lot more harder. my family, and being a family use to mean the world to me. I didnt want to raise my children in a single parent home. For the sake of them, i stuck it out and put up with it. I finally realized that i was not only hurting myself, i was hurting them. Sometimes he would hit me in front of them. Kids remember EVERYTHING!! i even experienced it with the next male i was with after him. In some ways, he was worse. my children are a little older, so they know what goes on. they asks, are you and ___ fighting mommy? what's that noise. why is ___ hitting you mommy? it HURTS...but its something i put up with. I told myself i would never go through it again, but i guess that was a lie. In some ways, i feel like may be thats what im attracted to. Oddly, the two men i have kids by are not the type of men i am usually attracted to. Some times i can admit, i "egg" it on, but again, i dont see how i could make them that mad to hit me! im not sure what i could do to help those who are victims.. i wish i did have enough money to have some type of organization that helped women who experienced such things in their life. i would love to do something like that. ive been through an awful lot and i think that my story would help and be inspirational to those who have gone through it as well.
Kiara D
In my opinion domestic violence is when you are verbally, mentally, and physically abusing your partner or child. There is no excuse or reason for someone to that. I personally wouldn’t stay with someone that was abusing me in anyway. And if I was I would let the police handle it. But I know from people that have been abused in one way it’s hard not to go back to that person because they LOVE them and are afraid of what they are going to do. Those are abuse act like there is nothing wrong because they are used to what’s happening and are blind that it’s wrong. I think it’s always been a big problem and more needs to be done about it. It’s about one partner wanting all the control over a relationship. I think that more people need to speak up because family or friends that are blind to it even happening would help that person out more than what they think they would.
Caitlin Wakeifield
I think domestic violence is when one person is or has abused someone else. It mostly comes from guys abusing their girlfriends. Its too far when a person puts their hands on another person for the first time. It shouldn't go no further than the first time. No i wouldn't be with a person that would abuse me. No because after they show me the first time that they would abuse me, i wouldn't let it happen a second time. A lot of people I know that get abuse says they love the person that abuses them, and they don't know how to let them go. Yes, domestic violence is a big problem in our country. Some people don't report when their being abused.
Emmanuel Tyler
In my opinion domestic violence is physical, sexually, emotional, mentally and verbally. When you are physical putting your hands on your partner that's abuse. When your name calling and yelling at your partner that's abuse. Making your partner feel less of a person or making them feel bad about themself that is abuse. Trying to make your partner have sex with you or forcing them when they don't want to is abuse. All of the above is taking it too far. No I would never want to stay with a person who abuses me. No I wouldn't keep letting it happen to me because I would be gone after the first time. Yes I would tell someone if I was being abused, why keep my mouth shut. I think some people stay with the person who abuses them because they feel they can't get out of the relationship or scared or just embarassed to tell anyone. Yes domestic violence is a big problem in our country. Because lots of women and children are being abused every day and it's sad. I don't really have an idea all I can say is leave or get out of the situation.
Brandan M^^
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